6-1 v Dynamo Tehran, Brunswick
DC 1, EC 1M, RH 2, JH 2, AW, CG, CB, (TH late ass coach)

MATCH REPORT

Twas’ the hot summer evening of March the 9th, but it was no ordinary night because this night was a Thursday night. A furious battle between good and evil, light and dark, old men and a boy vs more old men, in the age old game of futsal. The game started off  by a fault of mine in defence leading to the Nannas being set back one to nil. Things started looking up in the second half as the Nannas started pounding goals into the back of the net. From the side line the squad looked like a wall of fear crushing the enemies hearts and destroying their dignity and pride. There was no way they will ever come back from this crushing loss of six to one. They left the grounds with their heads down and tears welling up in the corners of their eyes. After we had hammered in our first three goals all the opposition could do was stare dumbfounded at our awesome magnificence. The Captain as well as Jim getting two goals and Le Coq and his son put away one each. To sum it up, two words, TOTAL ANNIHILATION. We then headed to an excellent Korean barbecue place going by the name of Wooga.

lost vs Harchester United
5-3

CB 1 MOM, TW 1, RH 1, DC, AW, TK, CG gk, TH coach

Ist half 5-1
2nd half 0-2

A second half win!

Or a 1-1 draw when counting half victories.

Perhaps I’m grasping at straws. We lost. 5-3. Against Harchester United. A very physical side with some excellent pace amongst their ranks. Recently relegated from Div 1 (according to them).

Their were hugs pre game as Nannas greeted each other after long absences at beach houses, camping and overseas. First game back for 2017. February. Holidays over. Children back at school. Warm days. Warm hugs from Nanna brethren.

The first five minutes of the game it felt like we could match our opponents. But then they got a couple of goals in quick succession, capitalising on micro moments of Nanna hesitation. The game started to slide away from us as they pushed out to 5-0 and their defences seemed impenetrable. Their goalie’s seal slapping style was unequivocally ugly yet effective. Gilly was pulling out some epic mid air saves and the score could have got a lot worse.

Near the end of the first half I buried a left footer after a perfectly placed corner by Rhian. Half time and words were spoken. Gilly said “whatever you guys are doing in defence.. ahh.. please do something different.” Coach said “Chassy, don’t do it all by yourself up front” and other things I don’t remember.

The second half began and so did Nanna intensity. We started to win the 50-50 balls. There was fire in the bellies. And goals came. A free kick from Tao hit the back of the net. Then Rhian scored one too.

We came away exhausted, defeated but upbeat. We had given it a good go. We had shone for moments. Perhaps just glimmered. But there were some sparks. We’re not dead and buried yet Nannas. There’s still gas in the tanks.

Peace out from the Chaswegian.

Nannas 1 VS Dery 5
Att: ANDY, GILLA, GUIDO, JIM, KONDO, RHIAN, TAO
Coach: TH, DC

“What is a Nanna?” This topic has been discussed over years as a part of the quest, “Brownfullness” AKA an ultimate elixir for our longevity.

I had a good realization when the most “life experienced” wise AW threw the great key word “Spine fullness” in the flurry Story.

We have to ask ourselves again “How full is your spine?” “how full is your Brownfullness ?”

This week had quite interesting change to my mental and physical condition. I must say that excitement of grand final looked after the mental side. However the change of physical is more interesting. I did not meet tantric twins but I know the practice. I deliberately filled up my spine as much as I can to experiment this method works. It was a long memorable week to face the grand final show down.

On the final day, I was in quite pumped place with calm mind set. I was literary feeling high, positive, strong, sharp, focused, a bit taller, biting hard, holding tight, eating well, sleeping well and XXX hard. This made me at least a year younger. I felt my spine was full of brown juice and I haven’t felt this good long time… This is better than multi orgasmic experience without ejaculation. may be I look a bit dangerous if i live like this everyday.

The game started good with full energy and we played good. Just other team had better passing and etc and we got a bit frustrated second half to keep all together. Big Kudos to all team brought us to grand final stage and my new realization scheme. It has been too long to be in this grand final chat. The result was second but we remember the taste of the grand final again. Unfortunately it was not followed by massive winning, warehouse ping pong with slow cooked dinner this time but hey lets do it again soon.

Fill up your spine with Brownfullness brother Nannas! 2017 is near us!!

Kondo

DC 3 mom, CG, JH 1, RH, TH, TK, TW 2, AW
6-2 | 6:40pm v Nunan Street Boys | Brunswick secondary

–

This week it was all about winning for the Nannas™. Not the sociopathic, narcissistic, megalomaniacal, misogynist, racist, bullying and xenophobic kind of winning where you openly cheat and grab the ref by the pussy. No, the Nannas™ left that kind of winning to someone else*. Instead the Nannas™ stepped from the court with the kind of win that leaves a warm fuzzy glow in your socks and a pleasant lactic aftertaste in the mouth.

We went behind early on but came back with a peach of a volley from Le Coq. Wal had managed to sneak a pass through the hustling attentions of two opposition defenders, it bobbled and bounced into the left corner where he-of-possibly-the-worst-haircut-ever (and I’m not referring here to The Donald®) with his back to goal on quite can acute angle, pivoted and smacked it into the top right corner of the goal. Their goalie didn’t even move! Raucous jubilation ensued on the touchline from the sub-10 year old cheer squad. The Nannas™’ second was a tap in after some nice lead-up play from the Captain and Jimbob. At half time it was 2-2 but shortly after kick off we were back on top following some tasteful footwork from Le Coq – if he does say so himself. But there the score remained for most of the second half. They threatened a few times and the Nannas™ came close on occasion but it was entering SAF’s squeaky bum territory when Tao toe poked the-most-quickly-taken-free-kick-of-all-time through the eye of a needle near post gap and we could breathe a little easier. Jim then did something illusory with his head, it might have been his new bob haircut (putting the bob back in Jimbob) but it appeared to the author as though the ball made contact about half a meter behind Jim’s head ? either way it went in. The rout was sealed in the dying seconds by another sweet strike from Taoser.

In other notes, Kondo was imperious in defence, The coach yelled himself hoarse and Giller didn’t have much to do but did stop one cracker in the top right from very close quarters, accompanied by a sharp fleshy skin slapping noise.

There was also a rather gnarly moment in the first half when one of the opposition went down howling in agony. Literally screaming like a south american howler monkey in labour who’s had both legs blown off by an IED. A suspected dislocated knee! It looked like he was going to be ok once the dust had settled but those initial animal screams were really quite confronting… It should also be noted that late in the second half one of the opposition opined to me (shortly after one of his buddies had shoulder-barged me off the ball) that “you guy’s are the dirtiest team we’ve played”… wtf ???… anyway.

It should also be noted that the ref had a howler and quite clearly doesn’t actually know a number of the basic rules of futsal, and all the nannas yelled at me for not playing the whistle… like hashtag tots whatevs.

Afterwards we went to a new mexican joint on smith street to eat ceviche, drink corn syrup coke and postulate on exactly how much he-of-the-orange-face-and-candy-floss-hair can fuck the planet and it’s inhabitants. The general consensus was to quite a fair degree !

The only consolation in this otherwise profoundly depressing election was the widespread legalisation of university cigarettes.

*you should be very, very careful of what even only a the tiniest little part of you wishes for.

DC, EC, TK, CG, RH, AW

i know, i know. I’ve forgotten everything. I almost forgot the most outrageous near goal ever. author passes to captain, it’s a bit bouncy, a bit shit, but the captain back-heel volley chips his marker, the author running through realising he’ll never control it opts instead for the flying volley see RvP circa ’06 , and holy shit Jay, it almost went in, cue random bystanders losing their minds… ah well.

datestamp: Monday 7 November, tomorrow is the US election and the world teeters on the edge of a freaking apocalypse. I know it’s wrong but there’s a very small and perverse part of me that wants to see what happens when Drumpf is elected and late capitalism finally gets what it deserves… i know, i know.

Attendees: CG, JH 2 (MOM), RH, TH, AW, TW

Result: Nannas 2 plays Dery 1

Another week, another victory for the mighty Nannas.

The Nannas are definitely on a roll. We haven’t won every game over the last four weeks but we haven’t lost one either.

And so it was this week too. We put six on court, in spite of Chassy being off somewhere (seeing something that is best left unsaid; when I was in boarding school there were these two guys who were really into this band, I think they were called the Cure, I never really got what the big deal was, especially seeing that these two guys were into them, which is what I think about anyone who listens to this band now) and Cocky and Kondo having prior engagements.

The Nannas weren’t worried about team-mates missing. They stepped up, they ran, they fucked ‘em hard, and they came out on top.

There was Tao, all purple-faced, running here, running there, screaming his head off, getting some good shots in, giving the opposition what for.

Then the Captain, oh the mighty Captain, what strength, what pace, what fire, what a set of legs. He hasn’t lost it, especially when viewed from behind.

And let’s not forget about Wal, the MAN who all men look up to. The supreme backdoor specialist, and these days one of the Nanna’s best in defence.

The Coach, well, what can you say about him, except that he has the heart of a lion, the balls of a stallion, and the toe of Ronaldo.

And last but by no means least there is the Gilla. Oh Gilla, still the finest keeper in the whole of the APISC, and the worst distributor but slowly but surely working out when to play the percentages or pepper the opposition’s back wall.

These brave Nannas took the lead with an early strike by yours truly. They weren’t really marking up, and I came lumbering up the centre on a corner. Coach rolled one into my path and all I had to do was hit the target.

We almost had another by exactly the same method a few minutes later but Tao didn’t quite make out my immense figure flying through on goal until it was too late, and I snatched at it.

From then, it was end to end stuff, with both teams trying to make inroads but not quite hitting the scoreboard.
They did pull one back after a mis-kick from one of their players that put off Gilla, robbing him of a clean sheet.

I then, duly, stepped up and finished them off. Rhian got the ball just in their half on the left, he whacked it over to me. It came off my elbow, not my hand but, in any case, my arms were by my side. Everyone thought it handball except me and little ref, who said play on. And so I did. From the resultant ricochet off my appendage, it fell to my left, and I was able to steady and bury it.

Then we went to Howler to mix with some very young people and talk about the impending Beach Box.

3-3 Draw ? maybe or 4-3 loss – realistic. RH(MOM) JH(1) TH PHIL(2) CG TK TW

First game played in the new Strip (by one player). Phil donned the sample uniform sporting the funk 45 label as requested by the Gilla. Phil looked fine in the brown and gold, his creamy thighs riding seamlessly across the silky fabric as the beads of warm sweat ran smoothly from his heaving chest.

The game itself was pure example of Nannas working together as a team, breaking out to a 3-1 lead until the middle of the second half, tight defence, and even tighter offensive defence, like a nun with no candles in reach.It was really our offensive pressure that hurried the opposition who were younger, stronger, fitter, firmer and gleaming in the harsh fluorescent light that highlighted their every sinew.
Phil was surprisingly eager to please, running freely with the ball and shooting plenty, it may have been the new strip – it probably was the new strip. He teamed nicely with Tao and Jim upfront, working the diagonals and drawing extra defenders with some Ronaldo-esque foot work.
Defence was led by Tom, strong as ever and almost impenetrable, like a leather Hymen requiring skill and determination to pierce.

Post match discussion focused on possible alterations to the new uniform including some colour alterations, before switching to the looming beach box. Debate was heated and questions of location were tabled, stick to the tried and true or move to Mount Martha for a change. The question was left open but post wrap flurries pointed towards a trial run at Gilla’s where the secret “top bedroom” has secrets yet to be discovered. Lets just say that it’s a large family and you don’t get a large family without some tricks up your sleeve, or down your trousers.

v some newbies @ brunswick
dc(4,m), tw, rh(m), cg(m), ring-in Nif(1,m), ring-in Elliot C(1,m)

ah yes, the match report written over a week after the fact, always difficult. It was a 5 way MOM so I suppose all 5 MOMS figured at least one of the others would scribe a report, figure again foolish suckers… Two of the other MOMs were ring-ins and the remaining two were Rhian and Giller neither of whom has written a report in at least 4 years so like that was ever going happen.
anyway I can’t really remember much apart from the Captain initiating a 1-2 drill during the warmup, the old give and go and shoot, and what do you know he and I then proceeded to score 3 goals that way during the game… I swear, priming is an extremely powerful tool. we also had a last minute random ring-in by the name of Nif, who we’ve played against a few times (notably giller winding him with a full arse slam last week) who was a welcome addition to the Team. As was Elliot, making a return to court of the nanna, and a scoring goal. Some of his tracking back left a bit to be desired ( as Tao was at pains to point out) but there was some nice footwork and a couple of very tasteful passes. err… what else.. Giller totally kept us in it at the end. We were meant to have the bus firmly parked at the back with less than a minute to go, but what do you know, 2 times they were 2 on 1 at the back, one shot went wide and the other was saved by a shoulder-meets-goal-post save from the Funky Nanna™. And of course the highlight of the entire match was the author scoring a pair of braces…
tight is right.

vs RMIT

loss 4-12

CB 1, RH 2, DC 1, TH, TW, JH, CG

We lost, respectfully, to a team of skilful and fit young men who were prepared to sprint constantly for the full thirty six minutes. The only thing they lacked was more than a decade and a half of shit-talking, planning, meeting, beach boxing and many other bonding activities too numerous to mention. And that is why I have it on good authority that not only did they not have their AGM that night, they have never actually had one. Their win-loss, our loss-win.

Jim had geared us up for a game of gentle talk and positive reinforcement. And it probably was the mellowest we’ve ever seen Taozza so it must have worked. We got four freaking goals man! What can one say? They whipped our arses. But. Not without a challenge. We made them work for it.

And then we took it to the Pinnacle for the inaugural “Pre- dinner drink”. Followed by the TH (Thomas Howie) Tramway Hotel for some tasty yet overpriced junk food and over flavoured beers. But the real item on the menu was of course the Annual General Meeting. The AGM. Which also sounds a little bit like “Gay Jim”.

I was laughing quite a bit so perhaps it should fall to the more grim faced Nannas to report the true minutes of the meeting. There was talk of new uniforms, prepaid Nanna subscriptions and “wanking ring-ins”. It was noted that there was considerable pleasure to be had in voting for things. The act of raising the hand and declaring “aye” or “nay” is even more fun than voting in online polls.

Tight is right and tight is out.

DC 2, TW 1, JH, Andrew, Tim MOM

Well, what do you know, a match report, who would have thought eh. Like the Tasmanian Tiger, or Myspace, such things were believed to have vanished from sight a long time ago… but no, here one is before your very eyes. Generally the match report is written by that Nanna deemed most worthy by his brethren to wear the badge of MOM, but, in a grave and telling sign of the times (with a nod to Prince, RIP) it is instead being written by one not so deemed as, in fact, that honour was given to a ring-in. And not even a real ring-in, a ring-ins ring-in, someone the Nannas had never met in their lives until moments before playing. Tim, who stepped into goals in place of Phil, turned out to be pretty good, good enough to take the MOM, but surely it is something of a Nadir in the documentary history of the Nannas when the match report is itself a ringing.
So how did it come to this ? Well, it starts with the flurry and the first 6 responses being ‘out’. Not the ideal start to the new season. In fact it was a miracle that from this tidal wave of apathy 3 brown heros emerged, JH, TW, DC. Add to this Andy the ring-in with the ancient chelsea top and phil/tim the goalie and what you have is not a team but a gathering of people with fading memories of the good times they used to have when they got together on a Thursday with their friends and played futsal. Admittedly never that well or with any real skill but at least as a team… And so it went.
The first half I think saw the Nannas, or the 60% Nannas, have only a single shot on target. Midway through the 2nd half we were 7 goals to the worse. Tim was real good in goals, young and extremely enthusiastic and vocal but theres only so many one-on-ones he could stop. Then they started to run out of legs a bit, or lost interest, and the 60% Nannas managed to sneak in a couple o goals near the end. Final score 3-9, a goal to TW and a brace to DC. Which was kind of good because as we know from the economics of organic memory we only remember how long something took and how it ended.
After the game Jim pedaled off into the night and Taoser and I went to the Retreat for fish and chips and beer. Andy – the legend Walmartin – turned up for a beer and did a great job of hiding his disappointment upon discovering that only 2 nannas – the 40% Nannas – were in attendance. The three of us then proceeded to talk about the golden age of television and which television shows we had and hadn’t watched. This would have been a dead give away of how unengaged with the world and how uninteresting we were as humans but luckily no one was knitting nearby so it was OK. My lack of knowledge of High Mainataince was met with gasps of disbelief but I can safely say that i am now up to speed… Qasim,pure genius!
As for the 100% Nannas, who knows. Jim got out his death bell and started knelling it pretty loud on the forum which may or may not have lead to a vastly higher percentage of ‘ins’ this week. we’ll see. I’ve re-mooted the idea of a season pass to cover the cost of ringins and hopefully encourage a greater turnout, that seems to have gained some traction but let’s see.
In the meantime, the new 2016 kit delivery timeline took a hit when it was realised that the preferred supplier was planning to place their logo front and centre on the shirt. Donald Trump is republican candidate. Bill shorten is proving very popular in Townsville. Leicester won the premier league. I tested UHD playback for the first time on a 4K Sony TV and was extremely impressed. It’s freaking cold and Miri insists on keeping the back door open all the time.

7-3 loss to a very skilful team

RH 1,TW 1,GUIDO 1,JH , CB, DC,PHIL (GK)
Mom RH,CB

It was good to have Phil in the rear. He’s just so good back there. His balls are great too. No disrespect to Gilly and Kondo, who are also tremendous back there. It’s just a bit unusual to have Phil back there so it adds a little sparkle.

Guido stepped up too and really helped the Nanna cause. Not quite enough to make victory, but certainly steered us a little closer than we would have been without him.

Special mention goes to the Cocky support machine and the full family cheer squad.

There was no going out afterwards which much be some kind of record for lameness. Cocky was dragged home (not exactly kicking and screaming.. perhaps just silently and inwardly whimpering). Jim ran away to “catch a train” (whatever that means). Hinkley choreographed himself out of the picture. Tao and Guido were talking up a beer at Tao’s. I assume that got out of hand. I had to go “learn some lines” (whatever that means).

2-5 v FC Dalles
Brunswick, 8.00pm
dc1m, cgm, two, rh, th, aw

The game pretty much went like this… run run run gasp stumble jog charge drop-kick punt hurtle stumble pelt trot strike pelt hurry charge hurtle punt trot scurry trot trot pant breathe heavily scurry bolt trot pelt dribble toe-poke stumble charge run hurry hoof boot rush pelt trot race interception tackle gallop jog scurry gallop miskick run pelt jog scamper scamper career stumble hurtle scurry trot stumble tear attack tackle pelt stumble dash career drop-kick gallop zip scurry rush pant rush bolt stumble career attack interception walk stumble trot scamper kick drop-kick run hurry race scurry drop-kick trot hurtle zip jog boot charge rush belt belt scurry walk zip scamper attack tear tear scurry walk challenge attack hurry stumble hurtle sprint bolt career bolt charge tackle rush hurry walk zip breathe hard pant like a dog run rush walk zip challenge attack race scamper zoom race sprint belt dart scamper kick zip hurtle hurtle charge scamper sprint race gallop drop-kick punt stumble career hurry bolt drop-kick hoof bolt pelt walk hurry strike scamper dart walk dash walk run zoom sprint challenge dart rush scamper hurtle breathe heavily rush trot jog stumble strike walk trot scurry career sprint race walk zip sprint hurtle jog tear interception trot scamper dash jog jog charge run trot hoof hoof scurry bolt tear hurtle kick hoof race scurry belt sprint drop-kick kick pelt zip scurry scamper miskick sprint walk jog scamper toe-poke rush stumble sprint zip pelt career sprint sprint run jog belt dart dribble strike belt rush hurtle race challenge tackle hurtle tear trot stumble sprint walk trot stumble toe-poke strike zip stumble rush hurry hurtle pelt dart walk pant zoom dart bolt career hurry dash bolt stumble hurry scamper pelt sprint bolt rush charge run drop-kick walk hurry race hurry scurry tear zoom belt wheeze pant bolt hurry bolt race pelt rush belt zip miskick toe-poke charge dart stumble scurry charge stumble jog pelt dribble miskick zoom sprint hurtle belt miskick dribble race zip career career jog pelt race hurtle toe-poke shoot dash scurry jog gallop gallop dash jog career hoof hoof sprint run dart pelt kick drop-kick gallop hurry trot career punt scurry tear run gallop zoom stumble gallop hurry attack tear tear zoom hurry rush sprint zip dart miskick miskick jog jog scurry career hoof boot career sprint scurry tear pelt bolt dart hurry pant wheeze sprint tear pelt dart challenge trot gallop sprint scurry miskick dart hurtle zip zoom drop-kick hoof scurry charge jog charge sprint rush scamper bolt boot dart gallop dash gallop race hurtle stumble gallop bolt zip scurry stumble huff and puff breathe heavily zip stumble trot rush breathe hard walk walk jog dash breathe heavily scamper hurtle run bolt hoof run gallop stumble zip zoom hurry run walk breathe hard breathe heavily belt rush rush hurry toe-poke rush run pelt pelt pelt race trot race punt kick stumble tear stumble scamper pant pelt trot career run tackle jog charge bolt dart breathe heavily stumble trot stumble scamper belt gallop hurry zoom block block belt zip race dash wheeze gallop zip walk gallop strike dash stumble trot hurry block challenge tear career run jog huff and puff… basically do a hell of a lot of running interspersed with gasping and the occasional shot/tackle/pass before finally stumbling from the court on the verge of a heart attack.

We then went to the Retreat for a quiet one.

RH 2, CB, CG, TH, TW, JH, DC

CB MOM

vs ??

Lost 2-4

I think all of the Nannas rode to the game except Cocky who flowed there in his maxi turbo diesel (of which he is so fond) and Gilby who fluttered in in his Emasculator (of which he is so fond).  Possibly JimBOB came on foot. It matters not.

I joined the peloton of hard, riding hard-riding Nannas as they slid down Glenlyn Road in Brunswick. Always a pleasure to be in the saddle beside one’s brother Nannas, if only to prove to the general population that it is possible for middle aged men to ride bikes in a pack without wearing lycra and looking like a Nut Bagging Sac Fucker. It is in the Nanna DNA to find small ways to subtly and grossly subvert the mainstream paradigm in which we paddle.

We arrived at Brunswick Secondary College to find the gates locked. Phil. When he arrived, on instruction from Gilby, we rewarded him with a slow golf clap for his tardiness and he responded by tossing sachets of hot chocolate? from his vehicle.

The game itself was not hugely memorable nor outstanding. The captain boxed a pair of goals. Straight to the wank bank.

Cocky was looking super straight and wide awake from the sobering influence of professional art angst.

The writer found that his left foot wasn’t able to allow the right foot to kick the ball unassisted. Instead the left foot kept popping in for a little nudge while old righty was in midswing. Unfortunately due to the poor processing power of the over holidayed writer, the message that the ball had moved didn’t reach said writer’s central processing unit until after the resultingly ignominious kick.

At which the straight as a die cockpillow was compelled to pronounce upon the writer’s ineptitude. To which the over holidayed writer could only seethingly retort through the stifling clouds of his own humiliation.. “I didn’t do it on purpose buddy!”

Tao was there and he looked bloody purple at the after match so he must have put in. Jimbino skerricked away post match still sporting his “compression bandage”. The coach was dynamic.

We lost but we looked dangerous when we were working the diagonal cross court angles. They got some very good goals. Gilly was huge in goals and as committed as always, even requiring an embrocation of liniment mid-match.

There was an unprecedented post match mutiny. The writer was designated cook and after informing the Nannas of his venue (Dojo Ramen), the People rose up and squashed his idea flat. They complained that it was too inexpensive and instead we should go to Mess Hall and have a banquet. It was actually pretty good (the food), although with a few jugs of IPA under the belt and inhibitions shed, we realised that the interior design was a bit crap.  The main criticism: trying too hard.

And then all the Nannas went home to bed except for the two Nannas who bear Christ in their names. These two brave souls took it to Belleville and witnessed an absolutely outstanding performance by Mara TK. Yeah!

Goals RH 2 JH 1 TW 1 ? Mom Rh

You can sleep with Jim Hannan and there’s a chance you’ll get hard enough at some stage to create some friction.
You can smoke synthetic drugs and there’s a possiblity that you’ll get high enough to forget that they might kill you.
You can get a low-carb burger with no cheese and you’ll probably be less hungry than you were before.
The truth of the matter is that there’s no substitute for the real thing and winning a game with the Nannas is as real as it gets. It’s possibly the most real thing there is. It’s the sort of real that gives a man a purpose and something to hold onto when all else falls apart.
Thursday night was real.

The opposition are not new to us, we know their game and they know ours. They’re a bit shit and a bit slow but occasionally they can forget it together and they’ve got one guy who can kick like a donkey. The good news for the Nannas is that they’re a bit slow, substantially slower than pretty much every other team in the comp. It was this slowness that the Nannas cunningly used to their advantage.

First goal. The Walmartin in full flight down the wing, lays a delightfully timed through-ball to the captain who is on holiday on the wing. The captain has time to brush the crumpet crumbs from his lap, pack away his breakfast dishes, receive the pass, put the kettle on, make a strong English breakfast tea with a dash of milk before slotting home a goal from very close range.

Second goal. Gilla feeds a superb long ball down the middle to the captain who is catching up on some paperwork at the edge of the circle. The captain tidies away his papers, clears his desk, taking care to file his receipts and not leave them in a messy pile, before once again slotting a goal from very close range.

Third goal. The opposition goalie takes a throw-in from the side, he goes long, very long, very very long. Long enough to be super – safe. Super safe except for the fact that Jim Hannan receives the ball. The man who had the scud missile named after him, known for his power and accuracy. Jim receives the ball just north of the wittlesea RSL, in a flash he fine tuned his radar and sends the ball back with a finesse that he rarely uses while clothed.

Fourth goal. I can’t remember. But it was so great.

An all round strong game from a Nanna side that needed a win.

2-3 ˅ ?
ďĉ (ṃ), ṛҥ, тķ, ẗш, ȶḧ, ćʛ – ?

Ĭ ẘøųʅȡ π○ᵵ ḫẵⱱḕ Þĩȼҟɐƌ ȉṱ, ṃɏ ġẹẗŧȉɲġ tɧḗ ⱮȬⱮ. Ɱӯ ◌▿ḝṟώẖẹḻʍȉᴨɠ ₥ḝɱ⍥ṝӵ ⍥ƒ тẖḝ ḡẫṃḗ ώἇƽ Ƅḗȉŋԍ ӵḗḻḻḙḋ ᾇt ϙűɨŧḝ ẚ ɓĭŧ ʍ○ṝẹ ʈɧậԓ ųšůḁɭ. ⱮẚұƂḗ įt ὧẵş Ƅḗȼʌυȿẻ ϯнɘ ∫⊍ʟ| ⌠⍺ϻɨḻƔ ҫὃᴨⱦ¡ɲʛɘῄt ҫ⍺ʍҽ ṱȭ ƨᵾҏҏ○ŗ† ? ъ⋃ʈ Ϯḥɇᴫ ᾷɠ△¡ῆ шɐ ⍶ʅ| ʟẻƭⱦ ъẻ∫ὃʀḗ †ħɇ ȉ₥⍴ŗὃ₥Þṱ⊔. Ὃʀ ɱàƔҌɇ ȋṫ ɰ⍶ȿ ʛűɪ|† ὃ⋂ ϮҺɇ ṗàṛẗ ○ӻ ẗḫ◌șḗ ᵰẵṉᴨᾇš ψḥȭʍ ńȭ ɭ○ṉɠḙɾ ẉṟĭƫḕ ṃẵṯȼɧ ʀḗƥ◌ṝтš ? Ʈɼᵾɘ Ĭ ђ△Ԃ ǝ ↄøųҏʟɘ ɵ∱ ɣẻʀү-ȵḗᾷʀ|ұ-ʛɾҽ△† ḡ○ᾷʟϟ Ϧ⊔ṫ ɪ†’ʂ ʈḧẻ ǝҫ†⊍△ʟʟƴ-ᶃṝɇà† ɵɲɘʂ ṭħᾷṱ ᵾșûàʟ|ү ƈȭυπʈ. ÀᴫƔɰǝƴʂ | ψʌȿ Ҍὃϯђ ρɼɵûᶑ ǝпḍ нø⋂ø⊍ŗɐᶁ ṫɵ ʀẻᴄɇϊ√ẻ ɫҺɇ ħϊḡҺɇșɫ ᾷҫҫʟ⍶ϊϻ ȭ∫ ϻƔ ḟẻʆʟøѿ, ʌɭʙẹĭt űṉȼ⍥ɱɱ⍥ńḻӵ ▿○ćẵʅ ȉﬣ ᵵḧḕĩɼ ḑȉșᾇᶈƥŗ○ⱱḁʟ ⍥ғ ɱӯ ǥḁϻḗ, Пẚᴫᵰḁƨ. Aʾƽ tɵ tɧḕ ᶃ⍺ϻɘ ϊṫʂḗ|ᵳ, |ȋ†ɫʟḕ ɼɇʍʌȋ⊓ȿ ɨῄ ₥ӱ ϻҽ₥ɵʀƔ ⍶ṗàŗт ḟɾὃʍ ɵṇẻ ◌ƭ ṯħḕ ˅ḗṟӵ-ԓɘẚṝɭӵ-ǥɾẹậƫş. Ϊт ώᾇƽ ẚ čṝ◌šš ĉ⍥ȗɾт ɓᾇɭḻ ƒṛ○₥ ɫнɐ ҫȭàↄҺ ɼȉᶃҥ† ĭπṭȭ †Һɇ Ƅὃχ ψȉɫħ ѿħɪҫḫ Ϊ ʌʟᵯɵȿϮ-√ẻɼӌ-πɇᾷṟұ ҫøἧ⊓ẹƈṭẻ₫, ẵ ϝʅӯĩʼnɠ ϟŧẵǥ-ʅȉҟẹ |ḝẫƿ, ɾȉʛẖт ʅḝᶃ ŧḥṛůƨt ᵳ◌ṝⱳʌṝɗ (ȉẗ’ƽ ȵɵt ậ ƽʆīḋẹ ĭƭ ɏøȗ’ṝḙ ɪñ ṯḫḝ ậȉʀ)… š⍥ ȼ|◌ƽḗ. Įt ẘøůḻḓ Һẵⱱḝ Ƃḙḙῆ ṫҺẻ ḕʠυᾷʟɪʂɘŗ ǝȿ шḗʅʅ… šȶīʼnƙ.
Ḁƒʈḝṛ ṯҺẚẗ ṫḫḕ Ɲᾷȵḁԓȿ ẘḗȵƫ ƅẵↄҟ ᵵ◌ ƁḝşϮΓ○ȭḵĭԓʛ’ȿ ᾇﬨԀ ⱳᾇŧͼẖḝƌ †ɧḕ ńḙώ/ȭʟƌ Ƨᵵɇƥḣḕñ ℃ḥὃώ ӻȉʟᵯ. Ṭɧḕ ғįʀʂṫҌȭŗπ △ᴫԀ Ϊ нɵϣɇɣɐɼ ҥǝđ ʆϊ†ɇʀᾷʟ|ү ᴊυʂ† ʀɐ†ᵾɼȵɐđ ∱ɼɵṃ ḁ ṃậššȉⱱḗ ṟὃẚḓ ᵵŗĩƥ (ƽḥ⍥◌†įñġ Ԃĭƨȕşḝḋ ɼḁĩʅɯẚӯ ɭīńḙȿ) ᾇńɗ ƈȭǜʅďᴨ’ŧ ᴊ○īȵ. Ậṗṗẫṛḗńϯḻӌ īt ⱳậš ġ⍥⍥ḓ, ƫɧḗ ṃ⍥˅īḝ ṱḫᾇƫ ĩş.

ᵵĩʍḙƽȶἇᵯƿ:
Ƨɭȉġḥṯḻϒ ◌ʅ ḏ ﬨḝώş ʙůẗ Α͂ᵾȿṫɼ⍺|ϊà ђἇȿ ¡Ϯ’ƨ 4ϯҺ Þɼȋϻẹ ₥ɨῄīȿɫḕṛ ĩń 5 ұḗᾇṟȿ (ȭɴɭӌ 1 ⍥ƭ ⱳḥȭᵯ ϣἇš ḝɭḕčŧḙḋ). Ƃ⋃ƫ ŧђẫṉҟ ǥ⍥ḓ ŧҥḙ ẫʀṱş ƥøṟᵵƭɵɭȉὃ ḫậƽ ъɐɐ∩ ṝɐʌḻʆɵҫᾷ†ɐԃ. Ƨɐʆ∫ Ḧҽʆ ῥ þʟ△ƴҽđ ṭħҽɪʀ ⌠ɨŗȿϮ ṗʀɵᵳɐʂƨī◌ᵰἇɭ ɠīġ. Ŧҥḗ Ḁṛʂҽ⋂ǝ| ϐɘẫɫ Ɱ⍺ἧ⋃ŗɘ 3-0 ƨҫὃŗȋȵʛ ᾷ|ʟ Ϯḣẹɨŗ ɠ⍥ḁʟƽ ĭﬨ |ḗşȿ ẗḥẫń 20 ᵯĭñȿ… ○ḣ ƴẹş.

13-2 V Cussi Betaes
CB, DC(1,MOM), JH, TH, TW(1), AW
6.40 pm, Brunswick

What to say about the first game back post beach box. All Jim seemed to be able to say was ‘confused’. He kept repeating it like a broken iPod, both at half time and after the final whistle.  I’m not sure the beach box had much to do with Jim’s confusion, given he only drank half a shandy, and I’m not sure the Nannas as a team were that confused either. Disjointed and lacking in general foot skills but not really baffled as to what was going on. I will admit to a certain befuddlement at the coach’s first attempt at shot stopping. He put his foot where the ball was going but somehow the ball seemed to pass straight on through ? Chasby made a a rare but warmly welcomed (and outwardly lucid) return to the court with some great intercepts though his shots on goal were, shall we say, gentle. Taoser wasn’t showing any signs of Jim’s alleged perplexationment and scored an absolute screamer, running from the right of midfield into the left corner before arrowing a trademark toepoke from a crazy acute angle at the near post. Neither did Andy Wong appear particularly bewildered, picking the pockets of our fleet footed opponents on a number of occasions and laying off a couple of the Nannas’ few decent passes of the night. The author perhaps was the second most disoriented of the team after the Titular Tinder Devotee but I speculate that may have been more anger issues with his shit week than any discombobulation from the 15 beers he drank at the beach box. Either way he managed to score a not too bad goal on about the 4th attempt, their goalie was really freaking good. Actually most of their team were pretty good, I guess that’s why they scored 11 more goals than the Nannas… or maybe we really were as confused as the TTD™ suggested, a theory that is certainly given credence by my being awarded the MOM.

As to the beach box, another resounding success. Slow dancing with Giller and a massive erection was probably the highlight, but given I can hardly remember anything past the 2nd hand that’s not really that illuminating. Micro table tennis with tequila boxes for a net = highlight. Chzasny/Brenda’s hair = highlight. Kondo’s osso bucco = double highlight. Wearing swedish survivalist gloves, bathrobe and a bow tie didn’t really compare with the coach judge colonel’s full-mil-spec period costume but was better than Tao’s no-costume-at-all-even-though-I-had-a-week-in-melbourne-to-sort-one. Erm… what else, I can’t remember, literally, except for those vaguely guilty morning suspicions that i was being a dick… damn it. Oh yeah, hallah french toast is freaking legitness !