Hat-trick MOM Match report 27-8-15

Attendees: CG, JH (hat-trick MOM), TK (1), RH, TW

Result: Nannas 4 plays Dunno 5

And so to another season. God knows how many we have contested now but this one didn’t start out that well if we are going by commitment: Chassy still has a shit knee; Cock Wad arrived late and without any gear, so he Arse Coached; Coach was babysitting; and Andy was dating (or so he said but isn’t he married and shouldn’t any single Nannas get first dibs?). So it was a tight five, with the true Nanna A but I think these days we always need at least six or seven; we have a much better chance that way.

Random thoughts on the game:
• Goal of the season? All I remember was Tao had the ball on the right hand side of the court and I was running down the left. I yelled at Tao, who delivered the perfect ball (I never broke stride). Phil was slightly out of position and if I hit it first time I had a chance. I really don’t remember the contact at all; I just remember seeing the ball flying into the top left hand corner and thinking holy shit that was good goal. Kinda makes up for all those ones that went sailing over the bar.
• Are the Nannas starting to leave a sour taste in the mouth? The Nannas might want to consider how we are starting to look to others. Are we the fun loving dudes we used to be, or just a bunch of old, sore losers who go on with things for far too long (like after the game)? Now, I don’t want to point any fingers but even though Phil did handle outside the box and he was their last man and it should have been a penalty and the little ref missed it there is a time to let it go and say fair dues; you can’t live in the past, you need to snap to.
• Speaking of the little ref, does he hate us real bad? I am starting to think the answer is not real bad but bad enough. You would have to say that a lot of calls go against us, and if something’s fifty-fifty he usually gives the opposition the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this is just paranoia but I do reckon we have hung a bit too much shit on him (see previous point) and he just sees us as a bunch of old, bad sports that deserve to get to get decisions go against them.
• Did Phil let a few in? I had a sneaking suspicion that either Phil was off his game or he let in a few goals in on purpose. It’s hard to tell but I reckon one of mine and one of Takeshi’s may have been a bit soft (sorry Takeshi).
• Nanna aggression is back. Well, I am not sure it ever went away (maybe it was dormant because Tao had been sick) but we did see a few squabbles on court on Thursday and one yellow card if I remember correctly (to them, not us). It’s good to see that the aging Nannas still know how to rise to a challenge and can put a young punk back in his place.
• Cocky sets a new precedent. Yes, Cocky turned up for the game (a little late mind you), he was fit and healthy, and had no excuses. He sat on the sideline and cheered us on. Now, I for one gave him a vote because I thought, good effort, he loves his Nanna brethren, and will see us even if he can’t play. But what was his excuse for not taking to the court I hear you ask? Well, he was going skiing the next week and didn’t want to hurt himself. I am not sure how others read this but I wanted my vote back. And this from Cocky too, the standard bearer for openness and transparency within the Nannas. How the mighty have fallen.

Match Report – 23 July 2015

8.00PM @ Brunswick
6-4 v The Little Refs Team
DC(3, mom), TH, TW, RH, AW, CG(1), JH(2)

23s eh. They can go either way. More often than not it would seem they go the way of death and destruction. 23 people killed in bus crash, 23 tonnes of agent orange dropped in one day, 23rd of December 2012 the world comes to an end, that sort of shit. But every now and then you get a goody and last night was one of those. 23rd of July 2015 will go down as the day we comprehensively took out the table leaders. A huge testosterone infused display of brown masculinity. From the very outset the Nannas stepped to the little refs team and proved that age and a lack of skills are no barrier to freaking awesomeness. They had the mad floppy flipper-like foot skills, the well convincing step-overs and the bursts of large-mass speed but the Nannas had something else. I’m not sure what that was but we had it and it counted. Maybe it was team cohesion, maybe it was Tao back from an overcrowded European sojourn, maybe it was Jim’s Tinder buzz or Wal’s illness, perhaps it was Giller yelling ‘just push him’ 5 times in a row, the Captain’s composure… who knows, but whatever it was, it was fucking legitness!

Good old 23 even came through on a personal level for the author, with a hatrick and a MOM. Well that was the heads part, unfortunately tails is the other side of the old 23c coin and that meant going down hard – like Gary, the best actor on broadway – from a bullshit goalie tackle and triple fucking my shoulder. Praise you and curse you 23.

timestamp: Bill Shorten is a dick, Tony Abbott is a total dick, Guardian readers are getting their jollys over the end of capitalism and Arsene Wenger may be poised to drop 100 big ones on a striker, Karim Benzema anybody ?

 

Match report 2-7-15

Nannas 4 plays Dynamo Tehran 4

Attendees: CG, JH (hat-trick MOM), TH, RH, AW

This was the classic game of two halves, the first of which was dominated by the Nannas. In spite our age, our creaking bodies, our lack of numbers (which is all Cocky’s fault), and the fact that some of us thought that we were getting way too old for this caper, the Nannas have found something this season. The Nannas truly are on fire, and this first half was no exception. We were passing well, running into space, making the most of our opposition’s shit touches, and their shit attempts at attack. I really only remember once when the opposition opened us up, but the shot was way off target, so it didn’t come to anything and they came up empty handed.
The Nannas, by contrast, probably should have had four or five. We got two. The first was from Gilla who, left unmarked, ran his full measure out of his goals to unleash his left foot. Their keeper got in a tangle and could not stop it, earning a typical Gilla, goalie goal salute. The second was the patented Nanna sucker punch. Gilla threw long, I got my head to it and in it went. Gilla decided sometime after that just because he threw it, it was his goal but it did touch my head, and as I understand it, the goal belongs to the person who gets the last touch (so there Gilla). And that’s how it stayed until half time. 2-zip.
The second half started somewhat like the first with the Nannas again applying pressure, and we went further in front after we got a penalty just outside their D, and Rhian fed the resulting free kick to me to poke home. It hurt like hell on my busted toe but it felt good to get that kind of goal all the same. 3-0.
At this point, one of two things happened, and I am not sure which. It was either we took our foot of the gas because we were in front with about 12 to go, and we thought had the game sewn up, or it was because Cocky didn’t show up (because of some lame, whopping cock excuse), which meant that we didn’t have a sub, which meant we slowed up a bit. I personally like to think it’s all Cocky’s fault (which it probably was) but it could have been a mix of the two. But then again, Gilla did give them about three or four one-on-one shots after some particularly shit throw/kick ins (he saved all of these except one), and I did the same one time too (but he didn’t save the one off my shit kick in. Typical).
Anyway, whatever it was, once they got those couple of cheap goals, they got a sniff and really started to come at us. They got that one where I thought the ball was well out (because it was going well over my head) and that dude with the killer left foot headed it from right on our goal line somehow getting it over Gilla’s head and into the net from an impossible angle. Three apiece. From there they pushed and pushed and pushed, and finally got a fourth and all of a sudden we were behind 4-3.
It was here, with about four to go, there was another very slight momentum shift, when the Nannas decided to pull their fingers out. Somehow we didn’t concede again (which would have put the game out of reach) but with about two minutes to go, I think it was Tom or Andy that won the ball in midfield, releasing Hinkley into their backcourt. He only had the keeper to beat but he heard my call and fed the ball back to me with an open goal. I only had to tap home, which I did to make it 4-4. And that’s how it ended. The Nannas got out of Dodge.

MATCH REPORT 040615

The Nannas versus RAINMEN FC

5                vs              4

CG(G), JH 3, DC 1, AW 1, RH, TW.

“Don’t call it a comeback, we’ve been here for years” LL Cool J

With seconds remaining Jim Hannan put the ball in the top left hand corner of the net. The same place that he put the ball in the FIRST 5  seconds of the game. Truly for me to be writing this report tonight feels like a hollow victory for getting the mom. Having my child along for the game and her voting had NOTHING to do with this. The night had everything. We were down 2 – 4 at half time and I could not see were the next few goals were going to come from. I even asked that of the proud brown men. THey took it as an insult despite the reverse psychology nature of the statement. Looks like the goals did come.

Andy Wong is experiencing a purple patch at the moment. From scoring his first ever hattrick last week (in front of his not too impressed son) and this week Andy ghosted in to goals as I threw a long ball and then Andy, like Fred Astaire, flicked a back heel to put it in the side netting! Incredible goal. This levelled the scores with 2 minutes to go. It really was INTENSE. Poppy was saying that is was actually quite scary. The INTENSITY.
Going back to the quote from Ladies Love Cool James, we, the Nannas, have seen this sort of hurdle before. We have felt that kind of heat before. We have juggled this weight of expectations before. We are brown and proud. We prevailed again.

Looks like we got a new A team peoples. I gotta say, Tao is finding an inner calm that could only be found in the anus of BUddha himself. Tonight Jim not only got his first ever hattrick, but took more hits than a German porn site. At one point he thought his knee exploded, but then bounced back, to take one on the ankle. Tears did not stop the man. Rhian who took the hits in the past weeks is in great form floating on the wing, drifting in and out of erotic consciousness. THen we have massive Cock(y)….. its good to have the man back. He has been wandering like a minstral, but is back to add a little focus up front. Then there is Andy…. like I said. Purple at the moment.

The korhian was a fitting finish to raise a glass and acknowledge an INCREDIBLE come from behind victory.

Stay BROWN men.

Match report 14-5-15

Attendees: CG, JH (MOM), TH, RH, TW (MOM)

Result: Nannas 2 plays someone 3

So with the aid of hindsight, if I have bad news again, I will probably deliver it after the game. In some ways I don’t think it affected our performance that much but by the same token I do think it was a bit of a downer to start the night off on. I think when something like this happens it invariably brings up many questions and unexpected emotions. At the moment, given that this has been going for the last nine, ten months, I think I have gone through most of these emotions already, and now I am in the process of moving on. It is a hard time, and takes some getting used to but I think it’s going to be okay.
So it was in this environment that the Nannas took to the field. And it has to be said that we gave a good account of ourselves. After the first half we were ahead, with a nice goal to Tao. We did a lot of defending in that first stanza as they came at us again and again but we were good enough to repel them. They weren’t too bad, but the main thing they had against was youth, being a good ten years younger than us.
The second half was very much like the first, with the Nannas going further ahead courtesy of a fine move involving Tao and the Captain, which was nicely finished by Jim with a very sweet toe poke to the bottom right corner.
But from there, it all went downhill for the Nannas. We let in two very soft goals, the latter from very poor defending, and after that they were awarded a penalty, which on the face of it was very harsh. There was no question a foul was committed after Captain put one of his legs through an opponents from behind but the controversy centred around if the offence was committed inside the box or not. From this correspondent’s view it was the latter but the referee didn’t see it that way, and one of them duly stepped and put the score at 3–2.
And that’s how it stayed until full time. In short, we should have got them, and we will next time.
It has to be said that Gilla was somewhat unlucky not to get MOM. He really was in fine form, pulling out some very fine saves, throwing himself across his goals like a teenager. I think Tao deserved his MOM; I remember at one stage of the match thinking he was playing especially well. Tom and the Captain, well what can you say: they were pretty good, except Captain needs to work on his giving penalties away. And me, I think I just got the mercy fuck because of the big news (but I’ll take it).
Afterward, we went for Korean, a few more questions about the aforementioned news, and then gelati and pool.
It was a somewhat difficult evening but the Nannas really stepped up to show what true brothers they are.

Match Report 20150514

2-3 Loss Vs Legz Akimbo

CG (G), TH, RH, JH (1(MOM)), TW (1(MOM))

Where to begin……….. Jim had very sad news but we wish him and his family well with all the love the Nanna’s can give. Sorry we couldn’t bring it home for you on this night Jim.

Korean made us happier. Liquid nitrogen ice-cream put a smile on our faces and a few rounds of pool helped finish of the night.

Gilla wasn’t happy till he got his milkshake.

Match report 4 March 2015

This was the return to form that the Nannas needed (I think) (It has been a while)
When the chips are down, and have been trodden into a beer soaked carpet it’s hard to scrape them up and reshape them into something beautiful but that’s what the Nannans are best at. It’s no secret that ‘Nannas’ and ‘Adversary ‘ share three letters but if you dig a little deeper you’ll see that exactly half of Nannas exists with in Adversary. The Nannas are built half from Adversary with the other half all N’s  – Nnn – National Retail Properties on the New York Stock Exchange – a proven performer over the last 5 years paying a high 4% dividend yield.

It was a great victory although I did  wake up with a hangover again which is strange and seems to have very little to do with how much I drink. My careful use of the scientific method points to dehydration and I think that the first two drinks of the evening should be H2O rather than IPA. This is not a new idea and is a classic example of my weak will power in the fight between what I know is good in the long run and what I need in the next 5 minutes. It is possibly a metaphor for the Nannas game plan, sacrificing long term positional gameplay for instant gratification.

Back to the game at hand, nothing short of a great game. There were Nannas, and Phil and Stan and some others and sweat and yelling followed by Beer and food and a hangover.

Sorry.

 

Match Report 20150319

1-5 Loss Vs Rainmen FC

RH (1), CG(G), DC, AW, TW(MOM)

This was he one we need to win hopefully with ease. Not having played these guys myself I wasn’t sure what to expect. The Nanna’s did, however, beat them convincingly in our last encounter but as we know all to well that does not mean a win the second time around.

It appears they had some extra players with extra foot work. From the outset they were running everything down. They played a frantic game that sucked us into their own style that put us off. Their defence was effective and ours was lacking. To often watching the ball and not running back with our men. Leaving Gilla open.

Some great saves, and one extremely lucky save kept their scoring down.

Gill went for the screamer, as we know he loves to do, and took out one of their players but as a result that player came down hard on Gilla’s finger and fully dislocated it. On seeing this I wanted to spew just a little. It was right out and on a strange angle. Gilla was calling for help, “Pull it out, someone pull it out”. On this grabbed his finger and tried to pull as best I could but both our hands being as sweaty as they were allowed for no grip. The ref had to step in and have a tug. POP was the sound we could here and a look of relief came over Gilla’s face.

Gilla then went off for the rest of that half, not that there was much left of it. Amazingly, and deserving of the MOM in my opinion, he came back out for the second half, with a bag of ice in damaged hand, and played on for the rest of the game and again taking out another one of their players.

Captain got the only goal with a lovely flick of the ball from a lovely corner pass from the Coach.

The second half was better for us but in the end we had to take some chances if we were going to have a chance and we were punished for it.

This team have now jumped up a couple of places to 4th on the ladder and we are equal with them on points but they have left us in 5th place on percentage. We have some work ahead of us gentleman if we are going to make the finals.

  • We have to learn to play our game and not our opponents.
  • Keep a strong defence. Follow your man not the ball.
  • Make the most of throw ins and free kicks by not taking too long on the passes.
  • There should always be a Nanna following the ball into goals hoping for the pass across or at least there to pick up the spoils should there be a fumble.
  • Not be afraid of the short passes and passing backwards. We don’t have to go forwards all the time. Often this is when we lose the ball.

Match Report 260215

3-14 Loss Vs Jelapino Chino’s

DC 2 (MOM), RH (MOM), JH, GA, TW (MOM)

It was a night to hang ones head in shame. 4 on 4 was the call. Basically this should make it still and even game. We were missing a dedicated goalie, not trying to blame anybody….. but, and we were pretty flustered by the lack of the 5th player.

Unfortunately for us this fact didn’t seem to bother our opponents in the slightest. The flew around us with ease and slammed goals in at will.

To help with the chaos our opponents had a ring-in for a bit and we got Phil. Then Guido turned up for the last 10 minutes of the game, after being stuck in traffic, their ring-in left and Phil then played for the other team.

Who’s on whose team?? Who’s in goals?? Are my legs still moving?? Ouch there goes another ball past me!!

3 way MOM a good refection of how hard it was to vote for anyone.

ⱮǝṭƈҺ Ṟẻρȭɼt 26†ђ ℉ḕʙ 2015

ⱮǝṭƈҺ Ṟẻρ◌ɼt 26†ђ ℉ḕʙ 2015
3-14 ▿ Ĵǝɭʌṗẹñȭ ℃ħȉ№ș
Đ℃2Ɱ, ṞĦ1Ṃ, Ŧʬᵯ, ĴĦ, Ǥȗȉḍὃ

Įẗ’ş ẵ †ɾĭᴄḵƴ ⍥πҽ, ṯḥɘ ὃʅȡ ƨĭẍ ◌’ҫʆὃҫҡ ԍʌϻɐ. Ŧɧɐṟḗ ᾷʀḕ ṱҺȭȿḗ Пḁȵ⋂℁ ϣȋṭḫ ṝḕàḻ ĵὃƄș ᵵҺḁƫ ĉẵ⋂’ẗ ṃ⍺ḵҽ ȉ†. Ŧҥḗṛḝ ʌʀẹ ȭtḥḗṛ Пḁﬨῄ℁, (ⱳḗʆʆ ℀ᵵȗậʟɭӱ ὃñḻӵ ⍥∩ẹ Пᾇȵñʌ) ώĩ†Һ ℀ŧȕẵʆ ɼɇ△ʟ ᴊȭʙș ɨ.ḕ. ĵɵҌș ʈҺʌŧ fiῄȋƨḧ ⍶ṭ 5.30 ⱳҥȭ ͼ⍺ṉ ᵯᾇҟḝ ĩṫ ƅůṭ àṛẹ ℉ᵵẹԓ ƫ◌ȭ fl⍺ɠẹʆ|ǝɫɐԃ Ҍɏ ᵵҺḕ ɼůṛᾷɭ ḻ△ɓĭ⍺. ŦҺḝñ ṯҺẻɼẻ ⍶ṛḗ ᵵħḝ Пʌπﬣ℁ ɰẖɵ ԃὃɴ’ϯ ҥᾇ˅ҽ ṛɘǝḻ ᴊȭьƽ ⍺⊓ᶁ ώђȭ ҫ⍺ῄ ₥ἇƙḗ ĩϯ Ƅǜt ɧᾇ˅ḙ ŧɧɐɲ ϟûϑđҽпʟỷ ḡḗṫ ᴊȭҍȿ ẚńԂ čẵῆ’t ʍậᶄɐ īϯ. Ŧḣḕṝɇ ἇɾɐ Пᾇ∩⋂℁ ѿҺὃ ḍ○ṉ’ϯ Һᾇⱱẹ ṟḗẵʆ ɉ⍥ɓʂ ɓȕ† ĉậṉ’ṭ ṃἇƙḙ ȉ† ∫○ṟ șȭṃḗ ὃẗɧɇṟ ⊍ﬣẻχþʆ△īπḗϑ ɾẻ℁◌ń. ẪᴨԀ fiῄẵ|ḻƴ ƫɧḙṝẹ ʌɼḕ tҺ○şḗ Пẫȵπ℁ ѿįƫҺ○űт ɾɘǝʅ ĵȭϦş ϣҺὃ ȿтẫᴫᶁ ʈᾷḻʆ |īķɐ ṭḧẻ Ŧɼûḗ Ħḕṝœș ℉ Пᾇῄȵ△ tҺẵт ᵵħḗӵ ᾇṛḕ ƈ⍶ṝɾϒȉ⋂ᶃ Ϯн△ȶ ḕǝṟʅӱ ṱ⍥ɼҫҺ ℉ ḣ◌№ǜʀ ẫ⋂ḋ ℅ʍᵯį™ḗ∩т ℁ ϯḣȭ⊔ᶃḥ ϊϮ ѿḙṟɘ ᵵнḕ ʟ℁ŧ ɫҺɪпʛ |ẹ⌠ẗ ʈ○ ŧḥḕṃ ◌∩ ẗҺĭș ԍʀɨ₥ ʌṉϑ ⋃ȵҺẫ ᵽ ῥӱ ᵽɭ⍺ʼnḕᵵ. ϯḧɐṉ ℉ ℅⊍ŗƽḝ Ϯнɐṛẻ ἇṝɐ ṭḧ⍥ʂɇ Пἇᴫɴ℁ ⱳҺɵ ἇṛẻȵ’ṫ ℀ϯᵾᾇʆʟү Пᾇṇп℁ ᾇϯ ḁʆʟ, ҍȕṭ ʀĭʼnԍϊᵰʂ, ώнȭ ἇḻš◌ ȿтẫԓԀ ṃẫɉẻʂṱɪƈ ẚń ḏ ἇȵȿẉḗɾ ƫҺɐ čậʆʆ, ī⌠ ὃ⊓ʟϒ ᵳ◌ṝ ŧђḕ |℁ƫ 7 ṃϊṉųⱦɐʂ ℉ ŧħɘ ɠἇ₥ɐ.
ḁπԀ ȿ◌…
ɨ⋂ᵵ⍥ ɫҺḗ ⱱ⍺ʟʟḕƴ ℉ ₫ẻẫtђ ϟтṝ⍥đḝ ṯђḙ ˅ʌ|ɨ⍶∩ŧ 4, ḻȋҟẻ Ϯɧḗ ŗĩḋḝṟȿ ℉ тẖẹ ẚƿɵↄàʆƔᶈȿɘ… ℃ɵ∩ʠ⊍ẹʂȶ, tħɐ ℃△Þ†àϊπ, |ɘậḍɨɲʛ ƭŗɵᵯ ƫḫɐ ϝɼȭπṫ, ∱ɇȉ∩ᵵɪŋᶃ, ɫυʀῄĩᴫɠ, ƒ△ḻḻϊ⋂ḡ ẫṇď ġẻṫⱦȋɲʛ ⍶ԓʛṛɏ ьûṫ ⊍ʆϯϊʍ⍶ƫḗʟỷ ᵾᴫᾷҌʟɘ ṱȭ ʍἇƙḗ ℁ ḣĩƽ ŋᾇᵯḗšʌҟḙ; Ш⍺ɾ, ฿ҽʂṫ Ḻ◌ȭᶄĭŋḡ, △|ẘẵӵƨ ẖ℁șʆȋȵġ, ℉tҽ⊓ štàᴫḍī⊓ǥ ƅɇнȋńḋ ⱦɧẻ ○ ῥ⍴◌ƽĩтĩȭἧ ʌ⋂ƌ ḕ▿ҽŗ ȉȵ ṱҥɐ ʈҺĩͼḵ ℉ įȶ; ℉ᾷᵯϊṇɐ, Ĵϊϻϐ◌Ƃ, ʟɨḵḗ ẵ ʟḗᾇᶄӯ șɪḙ√ɐ ĭᴨ ḡ⍥⍺ḻ ӌɐϯ šтʌŗⱱȋﬨġ ᾷȶ Ϯҥẻ ɵṭḣẹŗ ḗᴨ₫ ᾷῄḍ ϻ⍺ҟϊ⊓ġ ȿὃϻḗ ϯẹɼŗĩƄʟḗ ɓ℀ḵ ҏ℁ƽḗʂ; Đɐ△ȶҺ, ʟḕ ℅ɋ, ҫṝҽǝᶄĭῄǥ ḻɨḵḗ ʌ ƽƙḝḻẻȶ⍥ṉ ⍺ᴨƌ fiﬨԂȉ⋂ԍ №ᴨ ⱳ⍶ӌ †нɼ◌ȗʛҺ, 2 ẫṟḗ ʍ⍥ʍɘȵṯƨ ℉ ɪﬣšȉᴄįᴄĭ○ṉ №ⱳнḕɾɘ ἧẻẫɼ ɐ№ůɠђ ȶ○ ȿᵵẹ₥ ẗḥɇ tįƌҽ ℉ ɠɼɇḝπ тҥậṱ ○˅ҽʀϣẖɘʆʍẻḓ †ҥҽ Пḁʼnȵ⍺ ɠẫ○ɭş. Ǥůĩḋ⍥, tҥḝ 5ṱḣ ḥὃṝƽḙʍʌԓ (ɰḣẚt ɨš ñẹẍt ẚ⌠ẗḗṝ Đҽ△ṱн ? žɵʍɓȉẻ ʀҽʂ⋃ṟŗḕᴄϯįȭἧ) ɭɪҡḗ ẵ ȥ○ʍьϊɘ ɾȉɗϊṇɠ ᾇ ʍἇƫҥḗὧ ьʌɼ⊓ẻƴ Һὃʀƽḕ ϊńĵḝƈȶḗԀ △ ᵯ⍥ʍẹṉɫ ℉ ȗʀǥẹᴨↄƔ ⍺ᵰɗ ṗẹﬨɇϯṛḁṭɨ⍥ἧ ɓ⋃ṫ ĩṯ ɯ℁ ʌɭɭ ǝ |īȶᵵḻḗ Ϯ◌ ḻḁṭɘ, Ŧẖḗ △ҏ⍥ͼʌʟӱþϟҽ ḣ⍶ᶑ ậʟɾḝḁԀӱ ɓɐԍȗﬣ.
Α͂ϝȶҽɾѿ△ṟȡȿ ɰḝ ϣɇ⊓t ṭɵ ⱦḧɐ ฿ṛ⋃∩ȿɰȉƈḵ Ǥŗẻẻᴫ ẉђīҫђ ѿ℁ ậ ɼḗғṟɇșнĭȵǥɭӵ №∩-Ƅ◌ǜṝǥɇ○ȋȿ ḙχρɇɾɪḙԓↄҽ. Ɵῆẹ ỷ○⋃ȵɠ ʆ⍶ᶁӌ ѿ℁ ○▿ḝŗҥḝàŗᶑ ȭṝԀḕṛȉñʛ ‘ẅḥᾇт ɇ√ɐʀ ȋȿ ȶнẻ čẖɐǝƿḕϟɫ’ ậɫ ŧħɇ Ƅẵṟ ҍḗƒ◌ŗɐ ʆ⍺ϯḗṛ ℁ķįñᶃ ȶɧḕ Пàń∩℁ ɪӻ тђḙɏ ḣᾇᶑ ḁῆƴ fi|ṯḙʀş. ŦҺẹṛɐ ώḗɾḕ Ɣ◌ǜ⊓ǥ ᵯɐﬨ ȼḁ||ḗᶁ Đ⍶˅ḗ шḣ◌ ҥᾇḓ ᶑʀẻậḓɭ⍥ƈҡȿ àɴȡ ẗҺḕ ₥⊍şɨҫ ℅ńȿɨșƫẻϑ ʅʌŗʛḕʆƴ ℉ 90ʂ ŗȭƈƙ. Ǥûɪḋ◌ ṟḝẚ|ḻӌ şҥȋƒтḝɗ ẗҺḕ Пẚ⋂ń℁ ȕşůẫ| ḑīῆῆҽŗ ℅∩√ɘṝϟḁṱīɵἧ ȉ∩т○ tҺɇ ⍴ȭʆȋϯīᴄ⍶ʅ šƿḧḕṛḙ, ẘɇ н⍶ƌ ᾷ№ʈҺɇŗ ƥĭпϮ ℉ ϐẻɇɼ ⍺ṇᶑ ṯḣɇﬣ ṛὃḍḗ ħ○ʍɐ. ẗḫẻ ⍺űƫħ◌ŗ ṝ○ďɐ ḍĩṛḕᴄẗ|ӵ ƥ℁ϯ ŧҥɇ ℅℀Һɇš Һɵȕšḝ ἇṇԃ ώ℁ ẗẻ₥ƿŧḝԃ ṫɵ ẻṇϙűϊṟḝ ℁ †ḫҽ ẉɧḗȶɧẻṝ ẗҥḗ ℅℀н ẘ◌ûʟḍ ʙɐ ᵾᶈ ⌠⍥ɼ ẵ ψẻḗ ₫ʀ⍶ᵯ ℉ ӻṛϊƨķƔ ʙ⋃ṫ ₫ḕƈĩԂɇḓ ƅɐṯȶḕʀ ℉ ȉʈ.
Ŧ◌ԓỷ ẴʙϦ◌†ϯ ȋš ṟẻġʀḙtϮḁƂʟƴ ϟṫȋʆʟ тҺɘ ƥʀĭɱḙ ṃĩɴȋƽʈḕʀ ἇ⊓ɗ Ŧűŗἧɓ⊍ɭʟ īș ʟ⍥ɵҟϊ⋂ǥ ₥ὃʀḙ ẵɲɗ ɱȭɼḗ şᵯᵾǥ. Ậ ʍẵȵ ɨɲ ℃ђī⋂ἇ ŗḙҫẻϊɣҽ ḏ ᵵḫҽ ώɵṟʅđ’ş fiʀȿʈ Þɘñɨƽ tŗẵ∩ƨƿɭ⍺ɲɫ ʙȕŧ ẗɧҽń ḥẵԂ ĭт ṟḝʍ◌√ḙḓ ἇᵳȶḝṟ ṯɧṟḕɐ ẘḕɘƙƽ ḑǜḙ ƫɵ ⍴šɏƈḣὃ|ɵԍīĉẫʆ ṝɇ℁ȭﬣș. Àʀʂҽᵰậʆ ʆɵșᵵ ἇƥƿà|ḻɪɲḡɭӵ ɪᴫ ʈḫẹ fiṟƽṭ ḻḝġ ℉ †Һɘĩṛ ℃ɧ⍺₥Þī⍥⋂ϟ Ḻҽἇɠȗɐ тīɐ ẘĭȶђ Ɱ◌ᵰẫ℅ Ƅůṭ tẖḝ ฿|℀ᶄ ℃ẚƥș △ṝḕ ḁɓƨ⍥ḻųⱦẹʟӌ ᶄϊ||ȋﬣɠ ɪϮ, ү⍶ɏ.

Match Report 2015_02_12

vs FC Dalles (1-2)
CB, DC, CG, RH, TH(Coaching)TW, AW, TK1 (MOM)

Brunswick again. It is good to be back in here. Something feels right in this building. The poster of Kendo has been upgraded. It must be running very strong here. I hope more of young Aussies lean the beauty of Japanese sword fight and the spirits.

The night was one of the very warm summer night. Humidity is high as East Asia and almost all Nannas were on bike.
We were super 7. In good shape and in the good mood.

The opponent did not have enough player and Phil joined to save them. Ref offered us 2 points at the start because opponent was late and under numbered. What can we say! honorable Nannas never accept this type of offer 🙂 so the score started as 0-0

The game was very even. CB and DC had great pass works and got the goal really close. RH and TW were taking good control in the middle field. AW brought up the ball from side line many time and had very beautiful shot close to the goal. We just did not have good open space to score the goal. In fact, the defence of the opposition was tight and did right thing to block us out.

The first half, we had better opportunities to kick goals than other team and dominating the field but we somehow could not get score. The opposition had 2 goals. One was own goal and Phil’s cheeky heal kick from close. I must say these goals were just unlucky thing. The lucky thing was I received a great pass in front of opposition’s goal last half. No hustle from defense so I had a second to watch the goalie and gave him a quick faint move. He jumped to right. So I kicked the ball to the left corner to get easy target.

I have learnt 2 most basic things from this. To hit the target, the most important thing is not the skill of shooting but the skill to get close to your high score range. FBI does not carry many bullets for this reason. I know a goalie recently did hattrick, If you practice scoring goals long enough, you can archive it one day soon.

Another big thing is “It is very easy to kick a ball without having nasty hustle from defenders.” You are right. Imagine how easy this could be done from close range. No one is giving you elbows.

All I mean is “We never ever give this most luxurious sweet moments to oppositions.” We lose score when the defense is one step slower, when the defense can not keep up stopping simple counter attack.

The Union hotel was awesome. Good beer and food.

Match Report 2015_02_05

vs Delphios 8-2 (Victory!!)
CB MOM, TH, CG 3, DC 2, TW 1, RH 1, JH 1

The return to Brunny. Nannas on bikes. Well, Tao, Rhian and Jim at least. El supporting fresh from the salon. He literally “just stepped out of the salon”. Other unobserved natural phenomena all contributing to the resulting result. Product of the man-made world. Nanna victory!

I had just dropped Sol and two of his teammates off to Basketball training and was working on an old technique: Mind over matter. Thought over cartilage. I coupled that with a Gilly vision: walking football*. And it lead to victory, no injury and a MOM. Bit of a mercy MOM but a MOM nonetheless.

The opposition were pretty handy with the ball. Fairly skilful in fact. The kind of team that could easily take us down in a parallel universe. Another day, another time. May be if El had played hooky from Salon Du Val. Or Tao hadn’t ridden. Or those seagulls hadn’t flown over the gymnasium at 1800 hours.

Daniel opened the scoring with what may have been the FGINH (Fastest Goal In Nanna History) (pronounced Ef Gin, like engine but with an Ef). And that goal, that FGINH may have been the morale engine for the match. Or the cheat code. From then on, the game was unlocked for the Nannas. Everything slowed down by about 15% for us. For the opposition the game continued in Real Time.

Gilly had reason to purr, leaving his mark on the game with a hat trick before scampering back to his coaching duties. The cloying aftermath of his pungent penetrations staining the nasal passages of the opposition like a reverberant olfactory tinnitus.

And then there was the other team’s ring-in getting all aggressive with taozza. Taozza of course standing his ground with maximum purplish turgidity.

6-1 at the half and the Delphios were looking about as insignificant as their name. (Which Google told me is a small town in Ohio that no one has heard of and no one will ever visit even if they have relatives there they’ll just pay to fly them out to their house for Christmas cos no one goes there and even the people that live there don’t even know what the town is called just like the dumb arse ring in that got all up in tao’s grill and didn’t know the name of the team he was playing for).

Second half,  we got two goals to their one, finishing with an 8-2 victory. Technical term: a smashing.

Aprés: the new clubhouse, the union hotel. Hobbling distance. Great great great.

*www.theguardian.com/society/2015/feb/10/walking-football-wins-over-older-men-to-new-form-of-the-beautiful-game

Inaugural Nanna Golf Classic

IMG_2663

Attendees: CG (scratch), JH (scratch), RH (9)

Result: CG: 92-16, JH: 85-21, RH: 110-11. Jim takes it.

Format: Stableford

Venue
Keilor Public Golf Course. The course is okay, but probably below what the Nannas usually expect from their golfing facilities, being very flat, very straight and the greens not quite up to snuff. It looks to be in the middle of a major overhaul as three quarters of the holes have been upgraded, with bunkers lining fairways and a lot of landscaping being completed, however, the run from 7 to 9 feels very much like playing in Junee.

Handicaps
Gilla and Jim played off scratch, and Rhian got nine shots. The handicapper got it pretty much spot on for Gilla and Jim, however there is still a question mark over what Rhian should be playing off. He was given shots on half the holes on account that he had previously beaten Gilla (no mean feat), however, he probably should sit somewhere around 12 to 14.

Front nine
After the first couple of holes, which were a bit of a mixed bag for all involved, Jim quietly started to establish a slim lead. He hit the green in two on the par 5 third then got nearest the pin on the par 3 6th, with a majestic pitching wedge, and was generally playing solid, getting off the tee nicely and hitting the ball straight if not particularly sweetly with his irons. The one area he wasn’t particularly doing so well at, though, was with his flat stick. He couldn’t buy a putt.
Gilla was hot on his heals. After his abject failure at the 6th, he started to come at Jim, matching him off the tea and generally going stroke for stroke with Jim until the nine, the first hole he won. Gilla’s driver was key, and his chipping, when he missed green, was really making Jim work hard. It seemed like he was settling into groove and was going to streak away from the field.
Rhian meanwhile, was struggling. He repeatedly sliced his driver, which often left him in the tea trees and nothing to work with for his all important approaches. The one thing that Rhian did have going for him was his putting. Mid way through the front nine, he found his range and started banging them in from all over the place.

Back nine
After Gilla’s run culminating in him winning the 9th his back nine got off to a bad start. On the par 5 10th, his tee shot went straight left, not making twenty metres and not getting passed the women’s tea (he owes us all a round), and then he started playing army golf (left, right; left, right). From there he did still play some good golf but was always behind and trying to make it up. It was his work off the tee that was hurting him. The par 3 13th was a classic example. His tee shot he duffed, barely hitting it 30 metres, but stepping up to his second shot, he put it on the dance floor and then holed out for a par.
Rhian, on the other hand, started to pick up. His swing found a bit more rhythm and his putting remained a factor. Mid way the back nine, it looked like he would overtake Gilla, only for him to bomb out on the last three holes. Again his driver let him down, finding the trees right, just when it looked like Gilla was in trouble.
Jim meanwhile, was in the groove. He messed up the par 3 11th, hitting his seven over the green but apart from that he played solid par/bogey golf. He bought a new three wood over Christmas, and coming into the last four to five holes it really started to pay off. He didn’t hit fairway every time but he put the ball way down the fairway, and most times gave himself a short iron to the green. It has to be said if he had been putting better, he would have shot a much lower score, but the greens were a bit of mystery to him.

In the finish
In the finish it was a pretty good day. Apparently the Nannas will be heading out on a monthly basis to do battle again, so we will probably have to look into some better courses. Yarra Bend will come into it (even though this correspondent thinks it’s a bit over-rated, especially after its last facelift), Gisborne will be an option too (if Gilla can get over his nightmares from his last visit there), and Trentham could also be an option (even if it does give Jim a significant advantage).

First match report of the year 22-1-15

Attendees: DC, JH (MOM), TH (MOM), TK (MOM), RH, TW
Result: Nannas 2 plays Lieutenants 12

Well shit, this was a pretty crappy way to start the new year. Yes it was a thumping, and yes the Nannas did get pretty tired pretty quickly, trying to rescue a lost cause in stifling conditions. Tao, pre-match, was talking up his pre-2000 lungs but I think he got his numbers mixed up somewhere, for he like the rest of us did struggle to keep up with our direct opponents, especially in defence.
In attack, we didn’t look too bad, our passing was pretty good, we had movement and when Tommy slotted in an early one from a fine move it looked like we might get a couple.
But then reality struck. While our defence was pretty solid from restarts, when we gave away the ball away they hurt us, and like a jilted wife they hit us where it hurts. Time and again, we would lose the ball in mid-field and before we could say, ‘get the fuck back you fat, bloated, slovenly brown pieces of shit’ they would be up the other end putting the ball in the back of Kondo’s net. The classic example was when we were deep in their half looking likely, when a pass went astray. They picked it up, streaming forward three on one. They had no trouble getting past our last defender, isolating Kondo and sliding one home.
It was a pretty shit night for our number two keeper, who must have been thinking to himself, ‘don’t give it away, don’t give it away, oh shit, they’ve given it away again, oh shit, here are those four angry looking men running at me again with not a Nanna in sight, oh shit, I just hope they don’t pass it to that guy with the massive, exocet missile boot on him again. OH SHIT!!!!!!!’ I know I would have been shitting my dacks but Kondo like the man of massive cast-iron balls that he is kept fronting up, kept trying to save our bacon.
Anyhow, after we went down about half a dozen in the first half we were beaten and never really looked like pulling it back. We did get a late goal, or, more accurately, they scored an own goal off a Tao corner but that was it.
Maybe this is wishful thinking but I do feel like we could be competitive with those guys if we held on to the ball more and put a few more men back in defence. Or maybe they are just deceptively good, lulling you into a false sense of security until all of a sudden you are down about ten without feeling you have played that badly. It’s probably the latter.

Match Report – 6th Nov 2014 – part I

1-4 v Glorious Leaders
8.40pm – Debney Park
CB, DC(m), RH(1,m), TK, AW – PT(r)

Five whole Nannas™ managed to make the game this week. Outrageous. So with the addition of new ring-in Paul we even had a sub, which was a good thing considering Chasby was playing with Oscar Pistorious’ legs and a spinal theatre injury and I was playing with 3 broken ribs. The early stages of the game saw some sloppy old-man-Nanna play and 3 soft goals go in. The opposition had some moves but not really the sort of moves to justify the scoreline. We were also slightly unlucky in front of goals with a number of shots hitting the metalwork. At half time Captain™ called for more intensity in our tackles and led by example with some extremely committed hustling at one pointing breaking a former ring-in’s toe (I know that pain…). Most Glorious Leader® also put away the only brown goal of the evening with the beautifully angled deflection of a pass/shot from the author. The game ended 1-4. Paul sustained a ‘groin’ strain which adds more weight to Frasay’s telekinetic reaching abilities. Kondo made some fine stops and was generally immense in Goals. Chasby’s lightness of foot belied his fugitive fitness and Wal put in one particularly sweet long distance backdoor cross-court trademark.

The Après found us drinking bargain 500ml bottles of Four Pines on a skanky rubbish littered bench in North Fitzroy. Dirty Dave-from-Carolina had the temerity to close shop early. The MOMs took photos with author’s Flash Gordonesque vaporising camera and proceeded to talk shit at the other Nannas until an old grandpa in his pyjamas came and (very politely) scared them off…

match report – 23rd Oct, 2014

A long time a go in a galaxy far far away. The Nanna’s came head to head against a deadly force. It was a clash of good and evil, a fight to the death. It was a long and ferocious battle, bloody and sweaty. The Nanna’s were losing the battle, getting pummelled, but the did not give up. The come back started when Daniel Crooks, one of the five Jedi’s leapt ten meters into the air coming down behind the enemy and slew one of the four sith. We kept fighting and noticed that they were getting tired, but we were too. We kept pressing, then Tao saw an opening and went for the kill, but we were still losing the fight. I was in heavy combat with an enemy and was about to take a hit but Andy bravely jumped in front of me and got a nasty cut to his side. In the end, when we couldn’t take another step the sith fled. And the system was rid of 2 powerful sith. 

 


But I have a feeling that we will meet again. 

Match Report by Elliot Crooks

 

(ed: youngest Nanna debut at 13 years and 174 days)

Five key questions for the Nannas: (the old) match report 4-9-14

Attendees: CG, JH (MOM), TK, TW,

Result: Nannas 4 plays Dynamo Tehran 6

Will the Nannas ever learn?
A great sports coach once said that you cannot play without the ball. In almost fourteen years of play, the Nannas still haven’t heard this, understood it or brought this basic of soccer into their game. It’s simple: if you keep giving the ball to the opposition, and you do not have it yourself, you can never be competitive.
Thursday night was another classic example. Whether it was our goalie constantly kicking it away, or one of our mid-fielders passing it to no one, again and again we gave the ball on a silver platter to the opposition and invited them with open arms to come at us, which they gleefully did.
On the face of it, the score line for tonight’s game does suggest that the Nannas were in the match but you would be wrong: we never had the ball; they were always in control. It was theirs to lose, never ours to win.

Where is the run going to come from?
There are one or two brown men (okay, most of us) that can hardly muster a trot these days let alone run at top pace, or do that for a full thirty-six minutes. Yes, as much as it hurts to say, the Nannas were consistently a good metre or so behind their direct opponents for most of this evening. They just couldn’t keep up.
And when we were in attack, well, let’s just say that there wasn’t much running around opponents or making darting runs from deep on goal.
I know the Nannas have done a lot of sprint work in the off-season but it really hasn’t helped and the truth has to be faced: the Nannas are getting old and slow.

Will the core of the side ever return?
The Nannas seem like a broken up band that reform only sporadically only to go their separate ways again straight after the gig. Yes once upon a time, there was a core side of Nannas that turned out every week. They were brave and true and lived for Thursday nights.
But the years have changed us. As they have rolled by the excuses have mounted, artistic pretension and work have gotten in the way, one moved far from the city and another overseas, and others, well, their bodies just fell apart.
Do you remember the full team sub, or the sub sheet?

When does a man know to quit?
Steven Waugh was once the greatest cricketer on earth. He brought the Windies back to earth, he flogged the Poms and then flogged them again, and he just loved to grind the Kiwis into the dirt. His ability was natural, his hunger for the game unsurpassed, his fight legendary. But then one day he found that he couldn’t do it anymore. It was like the bat had somehow become different in his hands and he couldn’t wield it like he once used to: he was getting old. Bowlers that he used to flay began to get the better of him. Crowds started hoping instead of expecting. Where once he was feared, respected and hated, suddenly he had become someone to shuffle along, to let a younger, quicker man take his place. The parallels with the Nannas are eerie.
Of course, most of us don’t really want to acknowledge it and we still think we are competitive mainly because of our supremely gifted keeper (keepers can keep playing until they’re fifty, mainly because they hardly ever run), who usually keeps opposition tallies to under ten (when most of the time they should be in the teens or twenties) but we never win anymore, or if we do it’s not like we ever string two, or three together. And the finals, when was the last time we made those? Was it three years ago, or four?
It’s a hard thing when a man doesn’t know it’s time to quit. Steve Waugh knew it, but didn’t want to admit it and he spent those last few years battling demons, his body as well as the quicks that bounced balls around his forehead and an ever impatient public. I say again, the parallels with the Nannas are eerie.

Does Brown always equal futsal?
The question has been asked before and it will be asked again: for the Nannas to remain the Nannas does futsal always have to play a part? Or put another way, will the Nannas still be the Nannas if we aren’t in a structured competition and called the Nannas by another team?
And what does happen when we can’t play soccer anymore, or if only one or two us can still play? Does one, two or three really constitute a full brown team? And let’s not fool ourselves; we are not far off this now.
The Nannas (apparently) have an upper management but if they were really managers (like real managers) surely there would be a succession plan in place. The business case would have been written already: the SWOT analysis would have been done, the case for and against argued and settled, the restructure taken to HR, the stakeholders consulted, the finances found.
Maybe it’s happening already, and it’s the calm before the storm, and they are just waiting for the right time to announce. I for one hope it’s sooner rather than later. I know the impacts will be great, and the shock will be felt far and wide, but it’s long over due and Upper Management knows it, well, they should.

Match Report 20140731

CG (G), TW, JH, TH, HC (MOM)

5-0 loss Vs ??

When I was a young boy I wanted to be many important things, a policeman, a doctor or a science fiction cartoon writer. But over all else, I wanted to be brown and proud. 

The game was a great effort against the odds, with no subs and a fresh recruit, The Nanna’s put up a fight that regrettably, wasn’t converted on the scoreboard. 

In the first half plays were set up deep out of defense with Gil consistently making risky saves and creating quick attacking plays. There were a few close shots including a near miraculous header from Tom, and a goal throw from Gil that went the length of the field and hit the back of the net, but was disallowed because the ball had not been touched (although with the size of that goalie standing in the way, I couldn’t guess how it wasn’t)

Come second half the lack of legs and fresh team-lineup started to get to us and the lead slowly crawled out to the final score of 5-0 although, Tao made some tremendous plays down the corridor and Jim was able to continuously push between attack and defense in an attempt to support the young ill-prepared defender whilst providing an attacking force.

Although the scoreboard reflected a loss, the game was a great win for the inevitable amalgamation of the Veteran Nanna’s with their second up and coming generation. 

I look forward to learning the ropes, and earning a stripe or two in future Nanna’s Matches

Reboot (Harry)

(The all balls) match report 29-5-14

Attendees: JH (MOM), RH, AW, TW, DAVE
Result: Nannas 5 plays Here for Beer 9

So the two teams that played each other only last week, turned out to do battle once again on the hallowed halls of Dawson Street. Except episode two of Nannas versus Here for Beer saw significant changes to both sides. Apparently, or so I was told before the game, the Nannas were fielding a much stronger side, albeit not in our goalkeeping department. The opposition, I was told after the game, had a much-improved line up. One individual in particular, who was not on their team sheet last time out, was here this week, and he was far above anything the Nannas could bring to bear.

As it turned out, these changes in personnel were to have a significant impact on the game, which leads me to goal keeping. So, as the first Nanna goalkeeper selected, I was feeling confident. I thought, if Gilla can do it, then surely I can too. But then in the warm up as Tao started pinging balls past me I started to think, shit, Gilla might be better than me at something (because he will never beat me at golf or table tennis), and so it went in that first half as four went in, which I hardly got a gloveless hand to. Admittedly I was left one on one with the opposition on two occasions after errant back passes but they did score off a re-start (which is a goal keeping cardinal sin); I thought I had it, I thought I had it, but then it hit my hands and went through them.

The other feature about that first half was the Nanna impotency in attack. Maybe it was just hard to see from the keeper’s box but the Nanns in the first half did seem to have trouble holding the ball or, for that matter, penetrating with it. You could say that they were like men without balls: somewhat cowered, almost totally emasculated and with no outlet for any type of release (not that there seemed anything to release). Tao did get one late in those first eighteen minutes saving the Nanna manhood but we took it to the break 4-1.

At the interval, the Captain asked Izzy (the future hope of the Nannas) if he had any words of wisdom for us (which, at the time, was an interesting choice. Was the Captain making a comment on his own Captaincy, or on the Nannas in general?) But maybe the Captain is onto something because Izzy just shrugged his shoulders, and all the Nannas seemed to understand.

The Captain, though, did make one change at half time, switching goalkeepers. This had a positive effect, in that the Nannas’ balls seemed to drop, and we started to get back into the game. I started things off with my first touch, getting the ball just inside their half, going past two, and then slotting home from close range.

Then I got another; Dave fed a sweet pass to me just at the top of their keepers box, and all I had to do was bang it into what appeared to be a gaping hole in their box, which I duly did. Most satisfying. Then Dave and Tao got two more, both from long-range.

It could be said that we were starting to have our way with the opposition and in attack we were. Yet in defence we were still pretty shit, as they kept scoring. After Tao got his goal it was 7-5 and we had hit four in quick time, but they had got three. It was their man, that didn’t play last week. He was doing to the Captain what he did to me in the first half: pinging them in from all over the place and generally ruining his confidence in ever playing goalie again.

So Andy, seeing that we might need a self-assured fifth-choice keeper sometime in the future, took over from him. Also at this time we were trying to get that elusive sixth goal and mounted attack after attack but to no avail. I had the ball deep in their half down the right hand side. I remember trying to turn my opponent, which didn’t work, so then I tried to pass but only gave up possession, and their man scored again. They got one more after this, effectively killing off the contest: we had shot our load and couldn’t come back.

The final act of the game was Andy saving a shot with his nuts (which was all balls of him [no pun intended]) and very symbolic of the Nanna’s night: he gave his all to the Browns (he really did) only to end up prostrate on the ground writhing in agony, his legs in the air, his testis retreating somewhere deep within his stomach.

He did get up again and hopefully his nuts came back down too.

Match Report 20140515 (PART 2)

4-2 Win Vs Glorious Leaders

RH (1), DC, TH (G), CB, JH (1(MOM)), TW (2(MOM))

There was some trepidation on arrival that we might be up for a big game against the top of the ladder. As it turned out this was somewhat unfounded and they were not in fact the top of the table team and it would seem the Captian was hanging from his IronMan Gravity 4000 Inversion Table while checking the leaderboard.

While this team were in fact the bottom of the ladder it took us a little while to realise that they were not going to pose a huge threat and therefore we held back for a while allowing the opposition some time to build there confidence. Had we known they were shit I’m sure we would have gone out there with more confidence and agility.

That was the first half and we were ahead by a a few goals to nil, should have been more. The second half things were a bit more energetic especially as our opponents made a bit of a comeback. That got a bit of a spring in everyones step except for Cocky who got yet another kick in the foot. Seems that foot has been targeted for a while now. Do you think the other teams are doing some background research on us? Possibly reading our blog or infiltrated the forum? Decided they had to take out our striker?

In the end we managed to keep them at bay. Allowing them only 2 goals but we really should have used the opportunity to increase our percentage.

Every game should be played as though the team we are playing is the bottom of the table and go out hard for the flu 36 minutes.