14-0 vs Spartans

CG(gk), TW(2), AW, RH(4), DC(3), JH(4)
MOM: rh

“No”
I hear you say – then
“Really?”
And I respond
“oh yes, indeed”.

Fourteen times did the ball cross the Spartan goal line – FOURTEEN. And how many passed the fortress that is Christopher Gill? zero. ZERO. That makes the scoreline for all you number-crunchers, 14-0,  the biggest winning margin ever (unconfirmed).

Powerful, yes, Skillful, you bet, fast, strong and even deft. But most of all the word that comes to mind is UNITED. It was a TEAM that scored 14 goals on this fateful night, sure some Nannas kicked more goals than others but in reality every Nanna was firmly gripping the thigh of that scoring leg and swinging it together.

I’ll start from the back were Gilla took the term “clean sheet” to a new level, not a spot on that sheet, not even a hint of perspiration, no hairs, the bed remained in such a condition that one would claim it hadn’t been used. That’s where they’d be wrong, for Gilla used that bed like no other man before him. Firing balls in all directions with placement and timing that brought a tear to my arse eye. Then saving himself for the very end and unleashing a punishing set piece from close range to register on the score sheet. His use of the long throw was superlative, with I, the captain merely there to polish it through the opening with a gentle kiss.

“But was he alone in defense?” I hear. He certainly was not. The back door Wallmartin was a tower of strength all night. At one point Wal had ventured forward a long way – and found himself somewhere near Thomastown with no train ticket, when he heard a sound. A sound not often heard on a Thursday night it sounds like this “oooooohhhgghggghhoo”, it’s the sound of ball beginning to cross the Nanna goal line. He raised himself to his full height and opened the throttle, sending his legs into a blurred and furious whirlwind, hurtling his barely recognisable form through the suburbs at near light speed. He made it to the goal line at the same time as the ball and swept it away with such grace that the referee wept, openly.

“Well where was the rest of the defence?” you cry. Deep in the trenches is where they were. So deep that the light no longer shone and the only way to make out the oppostition was through touch and smell. There’s only one man that can play in those conditions, and that’s big Jim Hannan. Groping through the darkness with those giant hands out-stretched, those long, strong, fingers probing the depths of the opposition attack. Coming up for air occasionally to sink a long range powerhouse goal before plunging back again to the stench and the heat and the inky black that he loves and knows so well.

“What of the offence?” What indeed, 14 whats infact. Striker by name and Striker by nature, that’s what they say of Cocky Cockshank and last night was no exception – or was it? Well I dare to say it was. For last night the striker turned a new leaf, unrolled a new rug, dropped some fresh trousers and revealed a new part of himself to the Nannas. And what a beautiful part of a man to keep hidden for so long. It was a sharing caring Striker that opened himself to advances, invitations, calls from afar and answered swiftly with kindness and precision. He stepped away from the limelight and let others shine, infact he made others shine, he was the light by which we glowed.

“Can there be more?” Oh yes, for I have not yet spoken of the engine room and the Nannas had an engine named Tao last night. The thing about engines is that they’re complicated, there’s a lot of moving parts and it must simultaneously do multiple things, I’m talking about passing, tackling, shooting, yelling and running. When that engine hits optimal revs it’s seamless, all actions happen simultaneously and the resulting mass of limbs and volume create an aural and tactile feast. And when that engine unloads from halfway with precision there’s only one possible outcome – GOAL.

“What of you then?”. Well I played and am humbled by my Nannas votes but in reality I was there to finish off the good work, a polisher if you will – there to kiss the children good night and put on the kettle for your hot water bottle.

But imagine my shock when I went to the APISC ladder to find that we are not on the top of the Table -THIRD!! if you will. The second placed team have 77 goals from 5 games that’s an avverage of more than 15 goals a game. hard to believe. It’s lucky that the Nannas live for the challenge.