The Last Ever Match Report ?! 11th March 2020

3-11 v Harchester
DC(2,M),CG, TK, TW, SJG (1)

So that was that, possibly the last game the Nannas ever play. On Thursday it was all elbow bumps and half jokes about who would be struck down first. Joel assured me kicking goals was the best way to fight off a virus. The main concern at that point was Rhian and Chassy yet again prioritising their weekly date night over a commitment to their brother Nannas. Adding insult to injury was the Captains gas-lighting claim to have contacted Guido as a ring-in. Turns out he had been lining up a bi-twin with “Guido” in Geelong… “if you’re available ?”. But at least he made an effort, unlike the the other members of upper management who were just palming out lobsters and graceless facials. Giller on the other hand got nude in public for the Nannas, well, he got changed during a live broadcast ( the sound of his underpants and what lies beneath only mm from the mic ) in order to make it to the game. Kondo was there, Tao was there, and so was Si, the most dedicated of ring-ins. 5 True Heros of Nanna against the green hooped celtic foes of old, Harchester. It wasn’t a great game but at least we kept our pants on, 2 goals from corners and a third near the end was some small quantam of solace. After the game Giller, Kondo and I went to Miss Moses for some live funk ( careful not to touch anything, apart from ‘touching it”, obviously) and the partook of the perfect post match beverage (when you’re not drinking alcohol, like an idiot (except giller, who is not an idiot))); a lemon, lime &  bitters but with half lemonade/half soda, not too sweet, not too austere, perfect. I then finished the night with a falafel from Very Good Falafel , which was slightly crazy given I’d already had a falafel pita for lunch, but it was, as the name would suggest, very good – super crunchy without being serrated, and excellent use of jalapenos…

But what now ? The novel corana virus Covid 19 (or “the Chinese Virus” as the hopefully-soon-to-be-dead-from-it POTUS prefers) is cutting a path of destruction through the world. As at Wednesday 18 ASPIC is still open for business, but the Nannas won’t be there and its hard to guess when they will return. Is this (SARS x10) + the stock-market crash of ’87 + (the GFC x3) ? or is it the Spanish flu meets the Great Depression or is it The Walking Dead meets the Road ? Should the nannas be activating their long hatched climate apocalypse plans to hijack a Russian nuclear icebreaker and head for the oceanic hills? should they just be kicking back at home riding it out, gardening, reading great novels and playing parlor games with their just-a-joy-to-be-with teenagers, should they be scouring the internet for expert analysis and insight from religious american internet startup tech bros with all the numbers “just crunching the math”… or is it actually time to push on with that long-postponed opium addiction and just chill the freaking hell out !! who knows. crazy times.

Time Stamp: 1:40pm 18 Mar 2020:
199574 Confirmed Cases
7975 Deaths

Leave a Reply