9-3 Loss to Hyderoos

DC, GF, CG, JH 1, TH 2 MOM

Once Old King Lion went on a secret mission. People didn’t know what he was doing. It was a very secret mission. It was hard for Old King Lion because he was a pretty friendly old lion and secrecy was not in his nature. But the mission was extremely important, perhaps the most important mission Old King Lion would ever undertake. The reward for success would be immense, but if he failed the consequences would be catastrophic. All of Old King Lion’s constituent parts were required to operate at the highest level, acting perfectly in synchronicity with the rest of the constituent parts, there was no margin for error or not giving 100% by even one of the constituent parts because that would wreck it for the rest of the constituent parts and if there’s one thing Old King Lion’s constituent parts never want to do it’s let down the other constituent parts. The secret mission was long and hard, and its nature was such that there was a very real danger of Old King Lion’s constituent parts would not act in perfect synchronicity and as a result the mission would fail. As the secret mission continued the constituent parts struggled to remain in perfect synchronicity, some of them grew tired, some of them did not have the skills, but despite the hardships they continued with the secret mission because it was so important, and despite the hardships they did manage to stay in perfect synchronicity, and you know what? Old King Lion completed that hard secret mission like a fucking hero. And each one of the constituent parts was a fucking hero. They had walked the tightrope of danger over the Niagra falls of doom and they didn’t fall off even though they probably should have.

Now at this stage most of you are like; ‘Coach… wtf are you talking about’, and some of you are probably like ‘um… have you been chroming’, and some of you might be just be thinking ‘…’ which is a neat way of representing a bewildered expression literarily that David Foster Wallace invented. Well my not so bright Nanna brethren this is what’s known as an analogy. We talk of one thing by illustrating it using another thing. ‘But what’, you ask, ‘is it analogous to (of?)? Well that’s the beauty of this analogy its analogous to(of?) a couple of things. Firstly it obviously speaks of the match this last week past, this is after all a match report. And last week the Nannas found themselves on a secret mission deep behind enemy lines, against a foe who had not lost a game, and the Nannas had to be 100% focused 100% of the time to win and we were and we did and we walked that tightrope of danger over the Niagra falls of doom and survived like heroes. But then it turned out that 100% of them time was only about the first half of the first half which we did successfully win, but we might have fallen of the tightrope a bit for the rest of the time and gotten mashed up and drowned pretty bad in the Niagra falls which are pretty serious falls. But that’s not important and not really the analogy I am talking about. What you need to remember is that a lion on a secret mission is a pretty crazy thing, lion’s don’t go on secret missions they just walk around eating whatever the fuck they want to eat, and what else do we know about Old King Lion? That’s right, he’s more of a Mind Lion than anything else. Remember when he was messing with physics and making the ball disappear on the field through brain power, remember when fought a gryphon on a mental mountain. Now do you see the secret mission we have been on? Now do you understand the clandestine undertaking we have be attempting all these long years. If I’ve done my job properly you won’t. At least not consciously, but deep in the hidden processes of your mind I have secretly programmed you to be better Old King Lion constituent parts, deep in your brain’s reptilian core you now have the key to truly become greater than Old King Lion constituent parts and become as one OLD KING LION.