Blood Bros: First Blood by Mad Decent

Track List:
1. Kumite (Main Title) – Paul Hertzog – Bloodsport
2. Higher And Higher – Craig Wedren – Wet Hot American Summer
3. The Glow – Willie Hutch – The Last Dragon
4. Thunder In Your Heart – John Farnham – Rad
5. No Easy Way Out – Robert Tepper – Rocky IV
6. Break The Ice – John Farnham – Rad
7. Montage – DVDA – South Park
8. Training Montage – Vince Di Cola – Rocky IV
9. Eye Of The Tiger – Survivor – Rocky III
10. Fight To Survive – Stan Bush – Bloodsport
11. The Final Countdown – Europe – Blood Bros
12. No Retreat No Surrender – Stan Bush – Kickboxer
13. Never Surrender – Stan Bush – Kickboxer
14. The Touch – Stan Bush – Transformers The Movie
15. Take It Like A Man – Stan Bush – Blood Bros
16. Dare – Stan Bush – Transformers The Movie
17. Sweetest Victory – Mark Torien – Rocky IV
18. Iron Eagle (Never Say Die) – King Kobra – Iron Eagle
19. Now You’re A Man – DVDA – Orgazmo
20. Winner Takes All – Sammy Hagar – Over The Top
21. Burning Heart – Survivor – Rocky IV
22. You’re The Best Around – Joe Espisito – Karate Kid
23. Gonna Fly Now – Bill Conti – Rocky
24. Glory Of Love – Peter Cetera – Karate Kid 2

If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?

It is best to judge someone by the enemies they make.

5-5 vs Hampton St Fc, Wesley, 9.20pm

DC, GF, CG (gk) 1, RH1, TH, TK 1,TW2
mom TK

Well, we started really well in the best form. Most importantly, we were passing well, keeping the ball at the front, running back quick and defending as a wall.
As the result, we have got few goals quickly. It started by my lucky goal then followed by RH’s the most beautiful heal kick goal, CG’s magic tomahawk goal, TW’s lightning goals.

At the start of the second half, everyone must felt really good what we were doing. So all went super tight until last 4 minutes.
How could we loose 4 goals in 4 minutes? Hey, It was matter of focusing. No communication and no tactics. The score was draw but there was a heavy feeling.
A big kudos for CG stopped at least 8 goals. One of the location manager of Wesley kept saying we should buy a case of beer for him.

Instead of buying the case, we went to a bar then CG and myself were rejected by the door bitch. so my report ends here.. what happened after the night.. I hope everyone is still alive..

’tis a brave man who says they only way is up

It’s funny how sometimes the monsterweb and a Nanna’s Birthday Tribute Video can come together.

No…. I take that back – it’s not funny at all.

From what I can tell, it’s just how The Nanna’s roll.

PS. I’m sorry this post broke the formatting on the homepage. So many video nerds, so little room for widescreen.

The triple crown – full Kudos to Chassey.

A season of real highs and lows but in the end football was the winner.

Well that is the saying… but evidently it no longer carries any real weight whatsoever. From a team of ten, only three Nannas were committed enough to go to the Waiters and eat steaks, drink beer, defile virgin brassy and then watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Their names shall echo down through the ages… Coach®, Striker™ and Reacharound©. . After expecting the worst our three valiant ‘nobyers’ were pleasantly surprised by the movie, and Striker™ had a most excellent ride home.

* In fairness it should be mentioned that there had been mutterings from the Captain (mainly about a dance film!) and Brown and BestLookingNanna did consider the late pull-in.

Vs Allens FC 3-1

TK, TH, TW(MOM), CG(MOM), CB(1), JH(1), AW, DC(1, RED CARD)

What a night. First the reach-a-round arrives but not to participate. We were all looking forward to see the infamous move made famous by the Ghee Frasay. Alas it wasn’t to be.

On this night we came up against some old foes and there was no love lost there. While most of the team played a fair fight there is always one bad seed. He got in all our faces. Gill had a go at him, Chassy gyrated angrily over him and then Dan threw him to the ground. Did he deserve it???? FUCK YEAH!!!! Did it help our cause?? Not really. While we did beat them quite convincingly it could have been by more had our striker not left the court in disgrace.

After getting in the bastards ear he took some offence to me and tried to trip me up. This took the eye of the ref and he finally got a yellow card. This seemed to calm his anger somewhat. Until the end where he tried to break my hand with his extra manly shake. Did it hurt?? Not a bit.

While it was a bit of a heated game it was quite a good game. Especially the way the Nanna’s played. Defence was at a high on this night.

After it was Kondo’s turn to cook and he seriously turn it on. We went back to his place for some nostalgic times for Dan. Kondo had the slow cook stew ready to go when we got there. Great tastes, cold beer and some narrow table tennis made for a straight 6 night of nights. It’s going to take something special that make the Nanna’s whip it out on the table for a seven.

Attendees: CB, DC, CG, JH, TH, AW

Goals: CB 2, DC 2, JH 3

Result: Nannas 7 plays #$%^&* 2

The second game of the season and the Nannas had something to prove. The week before we drew with a weakened Annual outfit, letting an equaliser in, in the last minute. It was shitful. It was heinous. It was an abomination. As you can see, I am having some trouble letting go of the hatred I feel at such a miserable result.

So we lined up against a new opponent. They looked competent in the warm-up (never a good indicator), but as Andy said in the warm up, ‘I don’t care who they are, it’s time they got ripped a new arsehole.’

The Nannas were six, the perfect size, and made up of some very brown men.

Gilla took up his customary place in goals. GHBG’ed he may not have been but his glare was steely, his tracky dacks stained and his hair resolutely fluffed.
Cocky was at the opposite end and his return to the field of battle has been good for the Nannas. If he is not hitting keepers in the face with shots, he is at least creating an outlet up front where there previously was none.
Chassy and Andy prowled midfield. The two complemented each other nicely. Andy is all sneak, his best trick getting in behind oppositions, especially newbies who don’t know of the terror of his backdoor raids and scything right foot.
Chassy played the classic everyone at once role. Like Nick Reiwolt he does seem to be carrying an injury at the moment, but unlike the Saints spearhead he would never let this get in the way of a fine game.
Tommy and I guarded our rear end. Tommy started from middle right, making many a lumbering run through the middle, while I penetrated from deep, down the left hand side.

The first half was a classic arm wrestle, with neither side taking a clear cut advantage. We got two past them: one from my head from a long Gill throw; Chas got the other, being Johnny on the spot to slam home into an open goal after Cocky caused a bit of mayhem up front.

They did get one back on us but chasms were beginning to open up in their defense. It seemed like they did have a lot of possession in that first half but as both Tommy and I later agreed our defense was never really threatened. They had little cohesion and their best player repeatedly went himself and then made jokes after we scored goals on the rebound (after about the sixth goal and he knew he was beaten he got decidedly grumpy, which was something of a highlight).

The second half came and the Nannas swiftly got on top. Possession swung in our favour dramatically and it was only a question of if we could put it on the board, and, put them away.

Again and again our passes stuck and with time and space we lined up for shot after shot on goal. Cocky had more chances to poke home than a stud bull in springtime but he either had trouble hitting the target or was thwarted by their keeper. His best effort was a toe hack from straight in front that zipped past a number of their defenders and was heading for the top right corner until their shot stopper miraculously got the ends of his fingers to it.

From corner restarts resulting from some of these awry shots, I was able to slot home twice, latching onto passes delivered by a most benevolent Chas.

Then Cocky finally got on the score sheet, slotting home from a most difficult angle. He later commented that he was trying to cross the ball but it didn’t look that way.

There were two other goals scored by Chas and Cocky but right now I cannot seem to recall them.

Afterward Chassy cooked but I had a date with the 9:15 to Bendigo. Even so, this Nanna went home well satisfied with his evening’s work.

NANNAS V third street saints

7   :    1

TH, CG(mom), JH(mom), AW, TK, TW, DC, CB

Three main points surfaced after this game, Dan and Andy basically pashed at a restaurant. I am a 70’s vagina and the third thing was…………….oh its all such a haze. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

We faced some newbies. Its always a cherished moment to pop some teams cherries like you do the hope hopes and dreams of innocents. They still walked off the courts happily, but they realised they came up against an extremely skillful (old) opponent. We smashed them. However it should be pointed out that at half time the score was 2:1 in our favour.

It wasn’t until the second half that we found our rhythm. We were snapping passes like a dirty old man at the royal melbourne show. In fact the goals were so flowing that it seems like a Lionel Messi training drill in my mind. We just kept popping them in.

Let it be noted too that we had a new ref. This ref was great, young, but great, he took it seriously and made the game actually quite enjoyable. Then it was Chassy turn to cook.

Chassy took us to the swinging RICE QUEEN, where we were great by Ingrid busting out some sultry cocktail vocals accompanied by Olaf on keys and a cat on bass. It was quite a way to prepare for dinner. Obviously chassy had spent his afternoon blogging madly, but he came up trumps. Whilst the waiter was mildly insane, the food was ok and the tunes rolled all night.

Then there was the EDUMAME incident. Dan had turned his back only for a moment, and that was all it took for Andy to suck the beans out of his edumame pod and mistakenly throw the skin in the WRONG bowl. Then Dan reached in and sucked on Andy’s old bean, to then declare that he just sucked on a used skin. Andy may have well have spat in Dan’s mouth. He may well have licked the inside of Dan’s cheeks. He almost sucked on his tongue like a baby on a teat. As soon as the words fell out of Dan’s mouth, he realised he mistake. The truth was out and that jus made the realisation all the more funky. No wonder he made me take him out for a walk.

All that aside, the excitement is all about this week, as we have the return of REACHAROUND. All I can say is – beware any member of any opposition that play against the proud brown men. If you feel something reaching around, don’t look down, if you don’t see it happen, maybe it never did. Just like if Dan never mentioned about the Edumame, it would maybe have never happened.

110811: No byes, does anybody know what that means anymore?

110804: 4-3 loss to the Annual in a loser’s semi final
DC, CG, JH, TK, TW, TH(MOM)

110729: Beach Box Poker

110828: 4-4 Loss to ??
DC(MOM), CG, TW, CB, RH, JH, TH

-The Disgrace
FIDDLER ON THE FUCKING ROOF, I’m taking the above incidents in the order they appear so the major angriness can come out and then we’ll get on to the good times, so like I said FIDDLER ON THE FUCKING ROOF, that’s what it felt like to be the only one with my balls on the table when every other Nanna walked away to get their nuts buffed in private, there I was all my mess downstairs hanging out with a grin on my face like the kid a primary school whose just told the classroom his crack is caked with unwashed dags and gets not the: “oh that happens to me all the time”, or “this underlines the importance of correct rectal hygeine” with a friendly smile and a pat on the shoulder type responses that one expects from one’s brothers in arms, but rather the room looks at him like he’s just professed his deep and undying desire to skull fuck little baby kittens and that’s the best possible thing in the world – THAT’S HOW I FELT GODDAMNIT NO BYES USED TO MEAN SOMETHING!!!!

-The Other Disgrace
Loser’s semi finals. Who. Gives. A. Shit? Well we all jolly well should because if we keep going down to those dickless phase-wannabes we’re gonna need a mjor skin graft to repair our knees and a high pressure water cleaner to get all the dick sauce off our faces. And we don’t want to be remembered as kneeless blowhards with you-know-what caked inches deep all over our features. I know it was a close game, I know it could have gone either way, I know we played well, but fuck all that shit I want to win, we got to get back that winning edge, the fucking hunger and desire. Step up. Take responsiblity. Make everything you do out there count. And fuckingwell own any bitch who dares step to us.

-The NOT Disgrace
I tell you what, if the comp was about having a good time with your brothers we would smash any bastard out there. We’d be the Manchester U and Barca of that shit combined. I’m telling you if Charlie Sheen called Rob Lowe, fucking that President of Italy with the ‘bunga bunga’ parties, Don Simpson, goddamned the whole of Mötley Crüe from their prime in the early 90s and had a beach box poker night – and I don’t care that they have Heidi Fleiss on speed dial, or that guy Johnny Depp play’s in the movie “Blow” backing dump trucks of yayo up to the beach box, and all the midgets and the cheese sauce and the vapourisers from “Bored to Death – they wouldn’t have done it as good as we did it. It. Was. Outstanding. And I commend every Nanna for making it so. Military like precision in maximising the amount of time having the finest of times.

-Something else
There was another game – Cock the Hammer said it all – perhaps a limerick:

There once was a team ‘o’ so brown
On the Annual they always went down
The Coach he did roar
“NOT ANY MORE!
It’s their turn on our jizz to drown”

3-3 vs DWS fc
CB 1,DC 1,TW 1,AW,JH,TH,TK,CG
MOM CB,CG

It was an early game. 6pm to be precise. But the Nannas still managed to field an impressive squad of 8. Only the Captain was absent. Unable to extract himself from the bewildering length of lightly soiled lycra he found himself enmeshed in, he resigned himself to yet another night in a small inner city theatre moulding dancers’ lithe bodies into amusing shapes while gently caressing his own date and crying heartily into his portable projector.

But enough about the Captain. What a night of nights. Possibly the greatest draw ever. Looking at the points table for our competition, it can be observed that DWS fc (and no even they do not know what DWS stands for) have only had one draw. Against us. Sure they’ve lost three times (once against us), but never had they drawn. Until tonight. Incidentally I looked up DWS and it’s true even their website doesn’t seem to know what it means. Let’s just refer to them as the Dandy Walker Syndromes or if you prefer, Driving While Suspended.

It must be mentioned at this point that we had considerable numbers in the members stand. The full contingent of Brownsmiths plus Marek the Eel were in attendance and they lifted the Nannas’ spirits and pushed us on. At one point we were down 3-1. Tao got our first goal. The writer put a ground grubbing left through the field for the Nannas second goal and Cocky followed this up with a lovely finish to put us level. We were (in the parlance of B-more street hustlers) back in the game.

We held on. We played it tight. We drew. Revelatory.

Afterwards Cocky had to self abort his meticulously planned three stage early game post match festivities due to El’s freeform car exiting resulting in the world’s best 0. Meanwhile Gilly got an unofficial 6 for his Thai hookup in Carlton.

Nannas vs DWS

CG, CB1, TW1, DC,1 RH, JH, AW, TK, TH

3 v 3

Billed as the greatest draw in the history of brown. The nannas faced the old opponent (in all senses of the word). The DWS crew came bounding out of the gates, with a new recruit. Someone who was so good we won’t even use the word good. It doesnt come close to describing him. He was a latino I think, very good with his feet, able to turn at the blink of an eye. He cracked them into the lead with frightening precision.

The game was viewed by the Brown-Smith family and they provided us with great emotional support. Boy did we need it. I think the half time score was 3 -1 to them. We looked and felt shot, however, the resolve of the nannas is nothing if not INCREDIBLE. First Chris Brown stood up and scored then big Danny Crooks came and released, right in the goal mouth.

Seconds remained, the crowd was screaming, the sweat was streaming and they were pushing like freaks. The heat was on and the Nannas remained strong. Proud and brown.

Their big angry grey haired guy was pushing on a forward thrust and it was parried only to be accidentally pushed back in front of goal. The grey haired dude could have won the game but was busy yelling at his teammates. Let this be a lesson about NEVER yelling at your teammates.

I would have stopped his goal attempt anyway.

Then came the calamitous cook off from Cocky. Faced with the responsibility of cooking he then took a phone call and had t run away. The 0 he recieved was harsh, but that is what the Nannas are – harsh and brown.

I then took the reins and did a perfect 6 cook, that was judged unofficial.

Nannas Vs Vagabundos

1    vs  4

CG, RH, TW (1), TK, AW, JH, CB

Coach TH

They behaved better this time. No crying and diving which last week would have SHAMED their family’s family’s. It was an embarrasing game to be a part of.

We walked away with trepidation at the next match the following week with them, thinking would it be worse, it couldn’t be, surely! AS things turned out it was better. The number of dives were down, they didn’t get as angry, however, a few of them would not shake hands after the game. That speaks volumes…..

This week began with a warm up game that our goalie took part in. In fact our goalie played WITH oz the ref, thinking all was tight. How wrong he was. AFter going down a goal early. Jim got a free kick and then slotted it through. The ref DISALLOWED the goal with the ghost of Pete Circuit freaking out! From there the game was emotionally lost. We held them to that single goal for a half. They had lots of shots but couldn’t penetrate.

The second half was fiery adn at one point it was 2:1 to them and we were coming. However, they got a few more and that kind of killed us off. It was a good performance by the Nannas. To hold that team was good. They make us play better. There was really some great defence shown. Great running and really tight pressure. We did lack on the shooting front, but hopefully Cocky will stop this “I’ve got a sore back” farce….

Then the night stepped up. Takeshi took us to a 24 hour KO – Rhian joint with no name and no address, just a hazey description of some chick who’d be there..she sounded hot.

We turned up, Jim got loose and started being inappropriate. He kept thinking he was playing soccer on the waitress and was like, “Guy Fraser’s allowed the reacharound, why not me?” Then he stood up on the table only to forget why he was there. It was a bit embarrasing for us all, but I think it reflected favourably on Takeshi’s votes. Jim apparently had the night of his life. Like he’d had before. and he WILL have again.

Maybe all Nannas can dress in plastic for the NEXT night of Jims life.