2-5 Loss to VJFC

CB, CG (G), GF, JH, TH (1), TW (1)(MOM)

It’s been a long time between MOMs and I would have to say the match report heading protocol has gone to shit. Even Striker, usually the most outspoken about such things, couldn’t get it right. No wonder Cheezles’ heading was a bit mixed up. Mind you he did, amazingly, manage to get some of it right.

Now back to the game. It was always going to be a hard one against a pretty decent opponent especially when they were sporting a new, possibly imported, player who had some very nice moves.

We held our own for most of the match. Coach put away our first from a nice cross goals pass from your truly. I was on the receiving end of a nice pass from Jimbob and managed to sneak one passed the goalie off my left hitting the bar and ending up in the other side of the goals. My heart did miss a beat at that moment.

Unfortunately we left our opponents alone a few 2 many times and in our desperation to get an equalising goal instead allowed them to get 2 more.

We had a new ref who could have been a bit harsher with the cards, instead giving me one for a bit of lip. None the less he was very good, no matter what Gilla says. Hopefully Gill won’t scare this one away.

CG, DC, CB, JM, AW, TK, TW (1)(MOM)

1-3 Vs VJFC

It’s late, it’s Wednesday night and Austin Powers is on TV. Bu that’s not an excuse for not writing the match report.

We came up against some old foes and were keeping it together for most the game. Managed only one goal from a lovely pass across court from Chassy allowing a nice toe poke from myself to hit the back of the net.

That was in the first half. This team, who usually start to fall apart, much like Classic Nanna’s, were able to keep their cool and put a few more into the net than we were able to.

There was the most contentious disallowed goal from a throw from Gilla that just missed Cockys head to then slip through the goalies legs. It seemed that the goalie did indeed touch the ball but the ref, in his wisdom, decided to ask the goalie if he had indeed touched the ball before or after it went over the line. After a time the goalie couldn’t make up his mind and the ref still went against us. This only went towards confirming what Gilla always suspected of this ref.

In the end it was not just the disallowed goal that was our downfall but more the 3 subs that made it very difficult to keep a consistent game plan.

5-8 Vs Harder Than Pele
CG (G,MOM), Dave (1), AW, JH (1), GF, TW (3, MOM)

I made some notes post game and during the cook to give myself some pointers when I finally sat down to write this report. I decided to let the notes speak for themselves.

Match report notes
Harder than pele 5-8
Tw3 david1 jim1
Jim with lovely header. Andy gave goal to david. I got one thru goalies legs, in off goalie and fought off 2 guys to kick 3rd.
The Uranus exp
2 girls and a cup
Be naughty
Pizza
Taught Andy about skat and the elephant party trick.
Frasay cook 5.67 at home

And that’s all folks.

2-6 Vs Hampton FC
TH, AW, GF, TK(G), DC, TW(2, MOM)

A long time since a slender 7 and it it felt good. We played a nice and tight one but were not able to stop some easy goals getting past. Kondo played a beautiful game in goals after a long stint out. Dan had some nice runs but was taken down by a groin. This didn’t stop him from getting. Back in there and having another go. Kudos goes out to Ghee who past a little chip back to myself allowing me to slide on in the opposite corner. 

Over all it was a pretty tight and angry free game for Hampton. 

After we went for some high class pizza in the city thanks to Toms cook. 

Vs Allens FC 3-1

TK, TH, TW(MOM), CG(MOM), CB(1), JH(1), AW, DC(1, RED CARD)

What a night. First the reach-a-round arrives but not to participate. We were all looking forward to see the infamous move made famous by the Ghee Frasay. Alas it wasn’t to be.

On this night we came up against some old foes and there was no love lost there. While most of the team played a fair fight there is always one bad seed. He got in all our faces. Gill had a go at him, Chassy gyrated angrily over him and then Dan threw him to the ground. Did he deserve it???? FUCK YEAH!!!! Did it help our cause?? Not really. While we did beat them quite convincingly it could have been by more had our striker not left the court in disgrace.

After getting in the bastards ear he took some offence to me and tried to trip me up. This took the eye of the ref and he finally got a yellow card. This seemed to calm his anger somewhat. Until the end where he tried to break my hand with his extra manly shake. Did it hurt?? Not a bit.

While it was a bit of a heated game it was quite a good game. Especially the way the Nanna’s played. Defence was at a high on this night.

After it was Kondo’s turn to cook and he seriously turn it on. We went back to his place for some nostalgic times for Dan. Kondo had the slow cook stew ready to go when we got there. Great tastes, cold beer and some narrow table tennis made for a straight 6 night of nights. It’s going to take something special that make the Nanna’s whip it out on the table for a seven.

Nanna’s Vs Allens FC 6-3 Win

CG (Goals), RH (Captain)(2), AW (1), CB (1), TW (3), TH (Head Coach), DC (Ass. Coach)

A night of not quite true Nanna form. While we didn’t start all that well, going 3-0 rather quickly, it didn’t take too long before the Nanna’s pulled out a few of those tricky ‘oh my god how did that get through’ kind of goals that we are famous to get us back into winning hope.

By half time we had crawled back to 3 a piece. Luckily not to go down by anymore with our pitbull player Chassy playing with a strained groin or hammy or something. As we came off at half time Chassy let us know of his injury and, not wanting to let the team down, was willing to get back out there. Seeing as we already have 2 out to injury no one wanted to see Chassy take that risk but being down a player we grabbed funky Phil to come and have a run.

This put a new pace on things and Phil played a very generous and cruisy game. Weaving thru a few of the opposition and then passing across to a waiting Nanna to slot it in. Andy was one of those, with some fantastic running down the back side on more than one occasion, and I was a recipient of another.

One of the opposition then went out injured and Phil, being the sportsman he is, left the field also to make it an even 4 on 4. At this stage the Nanna’s kicked another goal and managed to stop anymore of theirs getting thru.

The oppositions 5th player came back on for a short while, as did Phil, but it was pretty much all over by then.

Nannas took it home with a 3 goal victory over the Allens not even allowing them to score in the second half.

After the match we went to celebrate in one of the coldest places in Melbourne. Some may say it was the most isolated bar on earth but actually it was just the furthest bar right at the arse end of the Docklands. Yes there was a point given for originality but for my money any place that has to have multiple 52” TVs hanging on its walls has already got something missing. It was a good try Hinkley but not good enough to topple the top.

Big thanks to 2 special Nanna’s that came to help with the move over the weekend. You know who are. Big kisses.

Nanna’s lose 3-4 Vs The Pepper Shakers

DC(Coach), TH, RH(Capt.), CB, CG(G), AW, TW (MOM)

Well I will have to say that I got away unscathed for not putting up my match report prior to the game. This was a test Nanna’s to see who was paying attention and I’m afraid you all failed.

So it was pretty lucky I wrote this the next day after the game and saved it so I could remember every little detail……………………….. except I didn’t.

Here’s what I do remember. The Nanna’s came out fighting pretty hard in the first half and we kept our own. Pretty much thought we had these guys, as we often do. Though it wasn’t entirely our own classic second half Nanna fault as The Red Peppers lifted their game and really brought it home. They had some fancier foot work they were saving for the second half that took us by surprise again, and again.

Still we managed to keep it tight and the only thing that really brought us down that night was our passing. To many pussy little passes either not hard enough to each other or kicked straight to the opposition. We have to make those passes count. Not so hard that they can’t be controlled but not so soft that they don’t even make their target. We are better than that Nanna’s. We are NANNAs!!!!

Nanna’s 12 Vs Red Peppers 2

CG (GK), CB, GM, TK, TW

Nannas-7 Vs Hampton FC-4

DC(3), JH(1), JM(MOM), KD(GK), TW(3)

This post was written by James Mercer who so heroically came to our rescue after just finishing a game down at the pits then riding to ours only to find out there were no subs. And to James’ credit he had written this and sent it tome before the commencement of the next game.Well done James.

At Vodka Borsch and Tears. Guido cooked on this night. Missing link is Marco.

Nanna’s 7-4 Yeth

CG(G), TH, RH(1), JH(4), CB, TW(2)(MOM)

I looked up the meaning of Yeth and the following is what I found:

1.     Yeth
1. A synonym in the northeastern United States for marijuana, hash, and all drugs containing THC. Encompasses all types of marijuana; everything from shitty outdoors and beasters to potent strains. 2. To smoke marijuana.

1. Fuck… we’re all out of yeth. Does anyone want to match me on a slice?
2. Turn off the lights, turn on Pink Floyd, and let’s yeth a blunt.

2.     Yeth
The embellished version of saying “Yes”.

Also, how a person with a lisp might say “Yes”.

1. Yeth, you sure did the number on that mofo.

3.     Yeth
To masturbate furiously
Oh yeth!

1. I just yethed that motherfucker!

Not sure which one best describes the guys we played that night but it doesn’t really matter because the Nanna’s were on fire…. oh yeth we were. Some of the best passing across court I think I’ve seen the Nanna’s ever do and even when the pass wasn’t given there was nearly always someone there just in case it was needed. This wasn’t classic Nanna’s this was Nanna’s of new, champagne Nanna’s for our tenth almighty year.

nannashutong.MOV

Nanna’s 6-1 VJFC
DC(2)(MOM), TH(GK)(MOM), CB, RH, AW, TW(2)(MOM)

The hat-rick of nights. It was a hat-rick as 3 Nanna’s scored 2 goals each and it was a hat-rick that 3 Nanna’s basked in the glory of the MOM and it was possibly a hat-rick that Chas chose yet another closed venue. Ok, the last one may have been the 4th or 5th time, I can’t remember. Ok all that stuff I just said was stretching a long bow but hey hard to top Tom’s rant.

When I arrived at the pits that night I noticed the only other team downstairs warming up were in their german uniforms and thought “shit I hope we’re not playing them as we could get done nice and hard like the socceroos did in the world cup”. As it turned out we did them nice and hard. It was Nanna gold that night. Coming together as a team to take down the enemy.

Special mention has to go out to Thos who only let one through, as well the defence that kept our goalie (in the waiting) out of harms way. The passing was exceptional and the control of the ball on the night was extraordinary. Great passes across goals that most of the time lead to points on the board.

I hope everyone is recording their favourite matches from the world cup and watching them before every game we play in the future as it certainly seems to help.

1-3 Vs Esperanza
CB, CG(GK), TH, TK, AW, TW(1,MOM)

Giller turned up and the first thing he said was to get angry people. I took that thought to the field. Half way through the first half taking the ball down the line towards the goals I got a bit of a bump from the the Dolf and, due to his hight and girth, a little tap from him does feel like a tonne of bricks coming down you. The ball went out for a corner but I took offence and turned and gave him a bit of a shove. This set him off and the goalie came out to give me a bit of a shove and went on about how I had just ruined the special relationship our 2 teams have……… huh? Have I missed something. A yellow card was pulled out but none of us were sure if it was for me or for Dolf for his reaction to my shove. Needless to say I was sent of for the rest of that half and I sucked it up and went and apologised for my rotten behaviour. The ref, who wasn’t feeling the best with a bit of a cold shook his head at me wondering why I would take on the only guy out there that could snap any one of us like a twig. The Dolf.

In the second half I was on the sidelines, because I had been subbed off not for any other reason, and witnessed the dreadful site of Kondo’s face cushioning his fall as it hit the floor pretty hard. He and an opponent were fairly, I thought, contesting the ball and Kondo may or may not have got a bit of a shove. Kondo bravely got up ready to fight on but was quickly off the the side when we realised that he had in fact opened up a nice little gash just above his eye. On seeing this from a different angle to I the coach lost his mind and started yelling at the ref. This gave the coach a little time in the sin bin also.

I can’t actually remember when the goals were struck but I got the only for us and they scored a couple. And you know what that means. At least we kept it pretty tight on the night.

As most Nanna’s bailed on the cooking that night Tom and I took Kondo to emergency at the Alfred where they quickly had a look at him. Kondo in his rather gallant manner chose not to have stitches but just went with a nice tight dressing in the hope he might be left with a bit of a war wound to show off in later years.

The one Andy forgot to post. Last time Andy, this is the last time.

Game: Nannas Vs Ozspurs
Result: 1-4
Players: JH, CG(GK), RH(MOM), CB, AW, TH, TW 1(MOM)

Another hot wet night but not as sticky as the week beofre. While the Nannas didn’t play too badly the other team were not that much better but they were just that much better. This allowed them to get 3 goals up in the first half. Without a doubt we let them take us hard in the first half and it wasn’t till the second half that the Nanna’s stood up and started acting like real men.

The second half was much tighter and we managed to draw…….the second half. Of course this didn’t mean we drew the game. Our only goal came from a lovely throw from Giller to me and I took it nice and slow off my foot on the turn and managed to tap it past the goalie as he tried to rush me.

The Nanna’s kept their cool most of the time except for an incident that should remain unmentioned. There was also a moment when Hinkley had an AFL leap onto his back that could have turned into an all out brawl and nearly was except for the cool calming influence of the ref we have been blessed with this season. We must insist wherever we play in whatever division we must have him.

Another great choice from Kondo the Kulinary King.

Notice the slight of hand of Tom. Eating from his plate and the hot plate at the same time. Didn’t notice it on the night that’s for sure. Too quick.

Just to clarify on Chassy’s post, I did not get a red card on the semi final night. I was given a yellow card and was sent to the sin bin for a few minutes. It was near the end of the game so didn’t go back on.

MOM of the season out.

3-1 loss VS Esperanza
TH, RH, CB(1), DC, CG (GK MOM), JH, AW, TW(MOM), TK(MOM)

Oh yes all Nanna’s turned up to play on this night but not all Nanna’s made it to the starting blocks. There was a last minute scratching of the long awaited return of Jim-Bob. Whilst having a little kick downstairs waiting for the ever reliably late northside crew to turn up Jim when arse over tit and slammed his forearm into the ground.

Jim, not wanting to appear as much of a pussy as he actually is, and that goes for all the Nannas that didn’t sign up to Movember or even donate at this point, started the game with style but quickly took the bench when that pain became too much for him.

Our opposition came out all guns a blazing and that set the tempo for the game. Esperanza played much like the Nannas do but with a little more flare on the night. While they did give us 3 free shots at goals we didn’t manage to convert one of them. Their aggression should have been their downfall but alas the Nannas weren’t able to capitalise on this.

I guess we didn’t play too badly as I don’t remember being yelled at post game by the coach. So there’s a bonus. Overall I think the Nannas played reasonably well but could have taking the higher ground and controlled the ball a little more. Most of the time we lose the ball is with our constant need to move forward. If we just passed back a little more we might actually hang onto the ball.

And Kondo we actually have to play Esperanza again next week. If we stay on top of the ladder we will then have to play the team in fourth position. There is every chance we could play them in the finals but we will have to beat Gassius in round 11 and they beat us by 2 goals last time. Bring your best game Nannas as we are going to need it.

6-5 Victorious V.J.F.C.
TH, RH(1), DC(2), TK(GK), TW(3(MOM))

Tight five and a score line that doesn’t nearly reflect the Nanna magic on the night. I don’t care to imagine the possible names one can come up with from the initials of our opponents on the night but one must say they played like gentlemen. That’s not to say that all Nanna’s came away unscathed. The Captain managed to get kicked in the leg, a ball to the guts and I’m pretty sure there was something else but can’t quite recall.

Kondo played very well in goals and was only let down by a sometimes poor defence which we can all take the blame for. We can be thankful that our constant pushing forward paid off into goals more than our lack in running back paid off for the opposition.

Dan put a ripper goal in from an impossible angle and Hinkley kicked a beauty also, I just can’t remember it.

There was some nice restraint by Nanna’s on the night and on the occasion some passing back that helped us to control the game the way we needed to and so often need to.

The cook for the night was Dan and the venue was a controversial one… Section 8. It nealry all ended in tears when Tom had to throw the bouncer a hundy to get Dan, Kondo and Hinkley in.

6-8 Vs Los Pitufos
JH(1)MOM, CG(GK)(1)(MOM), TK(MOM), Gudio(1), TW(3)(MOM)

Yes you read correctly it was an orgy of MOMs on this particular night my friends. All four Nanna’s that bothered to turn up, and didn’t take a little break from play only to turn up for the semi-finals, all deserved the honour of MOM for the night.

While the start of the game wasn’t looking too good for us when the opposition, with one player down, scored the first blow. We hit back with a goal of our own and then the Los Pitufos got fresh legs from any player turning up for the next game that felt like a bit of a warm up. And we know how the other teams love to have a shot at us. They are just jealous of our super cool team colours and that just pisses them all off.

Scores remained pretty level for most of the game. Started with a nice pass from Jim to allow me to put the first points on the board for the Nannas, and I mean for those Nannas that bothered to turn up the week before semi-finals. It was pretty much goal for goal from then. I managed to get a couple more, Jim snuck one in of the toe, There was a Giller special off their goalie. At least I think that’s what happened. And Guido slipped a ripper off the spot the no one was expecting. So at half time it 6-6.

And that was the last the last time we scored. Unfortunately the opposition decided they wanted to score a few more times and managed to put away another couple of goals…… with a little help from extra fresh legs from some more Anti-Nanna supporters that had just turned up.

Special mentions go out to

Gilla for keeping the goal difference to only 2

And to Kondo, who got in early with the I’m too soft to run a whole game call, then ran the game of his life and never faulted in his pursuit of excellence. nice work Kondo.

ANd the news that Gill is speaking of in his match report, should you have read his first, is that this little brown Nanna is moving northside.

7-3 vs Vagabundos Da Praia
DC(4)(mom), TW(mom), CB(2), JH(1)(mom), CG(gk)

2 weeks have passes and………… I can’t remember shit. I do remember 3 out 5 Nannas were voted Men of the Match. Is that to say the 2 left behind weren’t worthy of the honour. I say no. The tight five were equal in brilliance on the night and we blew the Vags away.

time has passed……..

Ok I just took a moment to visit the backyard and have a little you know what and now I cant remember even less than I could before. This has to go down as one of the shittest reports ever……. sorry

Nannas Vs Hydeoos

Score: 4-10

GF, CB, TK(GK), TH(1), DC, AW, TW(1, MOM), JH(2)

Was it hot??? F^%* yeah it was hot. Was it a good enough excuse to lose to the dirty Hyderoos?? F^#$ NO!!!! Not to mention we had two more subs than them. Shame Nannas, shame.

It seemed to be a very confused and rattled Nannas that hit the almost liquified court that night. Luckily the children were taken outside so not to witness such a miserable display.

Were the Hyderoos better than normal?? I for one think they might have been. Possibly they have imported some talent?? Maybe we need to take the Hyderoos to the tribunal and check that there has been no breech in the salary cap. An inquiry is what’s required here.

None the less it was a giant effort from the brown men to even take to the court after all the warnings in the news not to do any exercise in such weather. Did this deter us…….. no I say. Nothing but another challenge for the brown men. Going on this and past hot weather performances it may have to be said the Nannas play better in the cold. We are men of the snow not of the desert.

Special mentions should go out to some face saving goals from Jim, Tom and myself and some excellent work in goals from Kondo after being let down by his defence.

Sorry Nannas, I know it’s a bit negative and all but on a lighter note the dip in the bay after the game was a good call. Well organised and Dan was well shafted with having to get the fush and chups. But hey would we have got the extra sauces, including the tartare, had anyone else had gone. Also had it been Gee that had to go, as it was supposed to be, then we wouldn’t have got any potato cakes because he believe them to be impure. Even though he ended up eating most of them. Stop Tao, stop dwelling on the negative. The sand was hot but the water was cool and the the beer was cold and that’s what matters the most.

1-1 Draw to Los Pitufos

GF, CB, CG, TH, JH, AW, TW(1)(MOM)

Well Nanna’s, once again unbeaten so far in the season, but can we keep the momentum up?? One might say we should have one this one and I might be that one. Especially when I was the one that should have got a free kick for a behind only to have it turned around on me and turned into a goal. Am I harbouring any bad feelings towards the ref?? Me?? Never. Even thanked him at the end of the game.

All that aside the Nannas played very well and managed to hold there own. Some very good defence from all with a special mention to the reach around (still waiting to see that famous move once again). Gill once again saved the game from defeat with some superb saves. Jim made a ripper pass that allowed me to just lift my leg ever so slightly to give the ball the deflection it needed to slip past the goalie as he tried to rush me.

So all and all not a bad effort for the first game of the season and the last game of the year. Now it’s time to get serious and take this new season and year by the balls and squeeze so hard that the veins are bursting with brown pride and finishing with a happy ending.

TH(COACH), DC, TK, JH(1), CG, TW(2, MOM), PM(RING IN)

Nanna’s Vs Allens FC 3-3

While it wasn’t quite the welcome back to second division some Nanna’s might have hoped for thought it was still a pretty good effort and a well deserved draw.

CG, AW, TH, DC(2), RH(1), TW(1, MOM), TK(GK, MOM)

Nanna’s Vs Bulls 5-9

After a last minute change of times allowing the Nannas to actually put team together I’d have to say we rose to the occasion and managed to hold ourselves pretty well. Off to a bad start and what could have been a very frustrating game with the ref from hell. A goal disallowed from the before mentioned ref after he called play on and then changed his mind after the refs team got to him. Thankfully he didn’t stay much longer and a new ref took over. And I’d have to say he played a much fairer game.

Either way the Nanna’s played a pretty good game and, though we didn’t win, we did hold our own and stopped them from beating us by as much as we know they can and managed to put away a respectable amount of goals ourselves.

Well done Nannas!!

JH(3), DC(2), AW(1), TK(GK), TW(MOM)

Nannas v Lola 6-12

It was a mighty fight the Nanna’s put up but the new team came out, mostly in the second half, with a bit more class than we were able to match. While there was some Nanna gold it wasn’t quite enough. Jim put away 3 very nice goals though he tried very hard to give one back by admitting to the ball hitting his hand ever so slightly. Got learn to shut it sometimes Jimbob.

TH (1), DC, JH, TK(GK), TW(1)(MOM)

Nanna’s Vs Thursday Knights 2-9

Well it was a tight fighting Nanna’s that went out to try and prove something on the last game of the season before the finals. Need I tell you the Nanna’s are not in the finals and it wasn’t the worst defeat by the Nanna’s but neither was it a close one. I’d say we tried some of the time and ran our little legs down to the knees but it wasn’t enough. Tom poked a ripper goal from way out that left the goalie wondering what the happened. Tao found himself surrounded by opposition in front of the goals and facing the wrong way and with not much else to do back healed it in for our second and final goal. There were some great saves from the gallant Takeshi Kondo but too often it was left to him to save the day and there’s only so much one man can do.

Till next season Nanna’s get out in the yard and start practising. In the way to work take a ball and dribble dribble dribble.

2-11 Vs The Bulls

TK[GK] JH DC[1] AW RH TW[1, MOM]

Oh crap. I reckon we need to bring a laptop to the pub from now on and whoever gets mom writes it there and then. I can’t remember shit from last week.

I know we started off pretty well. Keeping the stinking refs goal scoring to a minimum in the first half. Tao scored first blood after some very tasty passing around goals by the Nannas. Dan took the second goal and that was about the last time the ball saw the back of the net for us. That’s not to say the ball didn’t get to see the back of the net a fair bit more just always seemed to be at the wrong end. Second half saw the refs step up and start scoring like we know they can. Even when half their team were screaming at each other all of us couldn’t stop one of their players from scoring.

Should there be an independent ref come in to ref the refs team when we play the refs??