Nannas A Vs The Golden Nannas | 6-6
CB, DC, RH, TH, TW, TK, AW, CG (goals to be confirmed)
MOM DC/RH/TW

Deep in Nanna folklore there is talk of the “lost report” of a game never played, not lost nor won, not drawn. A game so beautiful in it’s simplicity, so complicated in its delicately woven interplay that words simply bounce off its impenetrable walls. This game that I elude to is the game that all Nannas hold deep inside them, it’s an internal battle. Rather than unleashing the volley from halfway you shoot it directly up your spine and revel in what could have been, what always will be, what drives us on.

Oh lost report
Oh lost report
Oh lost report
Where are you?
Oh lost report

5-3 vs Los pitufos
DC (2,MoM), CB (1), CG (gk,1), AW, TW, JH(1)

With upper management on international duty middle management were forced to convene a special emergency meeting and disciplinary action has been threatened against Andrew Wong and Takeshi Kondo but more on that later.

Following a delayed kickoff the Nannas launched an aggressively tight 5 into the fray. Some tidy passing and neat finishing soon saw the lead taken. Giller then threw in a goal (is this a first ?) much to the embarrassment of the opposing goalie who went home to read the rule book… It all went to hell in bucket carter later in the second half with the opposition pulling one back. The Taoer of Paoer arrived and was soon in the thick of things (ie. yelling at Chas). The start of the second half was equally uninspired but the second half of the second half saw a return to form, Chas running onto a perfectly timed pass from Le Coq Sportif and slotting home (which was good considering he muffed a couple of sitters earlier on), Jim sliced one in from an impossible angle – literally standing on the back line. CG making the usual ridiculous saves and some unusually short (and effective) passes out. Some great defense from Jim and Wal. more wierd ankle electricity for the author and the last goal of the night. All good.

NOT so good. the blatant disregard of the flurry by Andy and Takeshi which resulted in a lot of panicked ringing around by middle management trying to locate said nannas and then trying to find subs at the last minute followed by the even more embarrassing task of telling those who had valiantly offered to play at extremely short notice (and got all excited) that in fact they weren’t required. NOT good. Disciplinary action is still to be decided.

HENCEFORTH: All Nannas MUST make their availability known at least ONE DAY BEFORE the game. If you don’t “have a fvcking office job like you cocky” or are otherwise too dim witted to use email and contribute to the Flurryâ„¢ then you must CALL somebody or use fvcking smoke signals if you have to.

ps. Rhian, Tom and Wal all still owe match reports, I seem to recall something about defecating in a nannas throat ?

He who knows when he can fight and when he cannot, will be victorious. Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack.

Nannas A Vs The Golden Nannas | 6-6
CB, DC, RH, TH, TW, TK, AW, CG (goals to be confirmed)
MOM DC/RH/TW

Nanna on Nanna and I don’t mean in the Jim kind of way, lucky he wasn’t there actually. It was a somewhat laid back few Nannas enjoying the time to have a go at eachother. Golden Nannas had the game tied up and then decided to let Nannas A have a little comeback to make it interesting. If it wasn’t that TW went down with a sprained ankle leaving them one man down the Golden Nannas would have run away with it in the final minutes but it wasn’t to be. NEXT TIME.

vs Asian sensation? 9-4

DC 4, RH, AW, JH, CB2, TW2,  own goal
MOM: RH, CB, DC

It’s not often that the Nannas really strut their stuff and laugh in the face of a weak and pitiful opponent but that is exactly what happened on this evening of delights.
Not only did the opposition have absolutely no talent but they were ugly and quite possibly foreign or diabetics. At one point four of the opposition found themselves in the bathroom, leaving only a goalie who’d just finished her first day at school.

BUT THEY WON THE SECOND HALF !!!!!!

We should have ground them deeper in to the dust than the little bits of dust that were once bigger bits of dust but have then been ground into the dust themselves. It should have been a landslide, avalanche, romp home.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS.

3-2 Win Los Pitufos

CB1, TW, TH, RH1, JH1, CG, AW
MOM: RH

I played like this and we one.

She it nannas! A double win for France last night. They cheesed the All Blacks out of the World Cup by 2 points (correctly predicted by Thermo) but prior to that (and much more enjoyably) La France’s favourite son, one Quentin Dupieux aka Mr Oizo, fully fucking tore it up at the Prince.

It all started at a temporarily child free household (Martindale) in Northcote East over Leibe pizzas, tequilas and apple vodkas. In attendance were myself, Claire Brownsmith, Doctor Ransom, Cap’n Hinkley and Cockstrike. Our postprandial journey was executed with the precision of a ceramic tap with no grit in the line and we found ourselves deposited in St Kilda with nary le blink of un oeuil. Upon entering the Deep Southside we quickly assumed our roles for the evening as the five lost Dupieux siblings; Thierry, Pascal, Veronique, Monique et Alain.

Presenting ourselves early at the venue we were informed by the bouncer that folk such as ourselves (not wearing fluoro and being a little over 21) would be guaranteed a fast-tracked entrance due to our immaculate grooming and exceptional personal style. This was pleasing for our party so we trudged further south in search of our sixth French frere Gaston (also known as Coach Thermo). En route we availed ourselves of a large bottle of tequila which we promptly drank to counteract the debilitating effects of watching Miami Vice the Movie.

vs Vagabundos Da Praia 3-2

CG2, DC 1, RH, AW, JH, CB

MOM: CG

Possibly one of the BROWNEST nights for a long long time. (no Jim, I’m not including that night!)

The Nannas stode off the court with chests as puffed out as zepplins. I don’t think many of the Nannas believed we ha the right to the victory, such was the feeling of extreem BROWN PRIDE.

Captain Wrinkley picked me up mid jog, as I was almost halfway to the ground. We got there early and did the early prematch warm up. This has proved very useful to the aging Nannas, giving their older legs the touch they need for the start of the game. Jim began the warm up with much dry quippage about all things non hetro and Dan tried to justify watching an “arthouse” film with Miri!!!!

By game time, however, our minds were focused. The team we faced up to had beaten us recently and people were NOT CONFIDENT….. The first half was tighter than tight. 0 – 0 the Nannas were resilinent in defence. However, the young team we faced looked set to run us off our feet. NOT SO!!!!

They opened the account with a scorching  goal that even Chazzmeister the frenchman could not stop. People were nervous. However a long goalie throw (with a little spin on it) resulted in a goal to the NAnnas. HA HA (little punks)……1 – 1 Tightness reined supreme.

People kept pushing, tempers flared, sweat dripped, tension rose.

Another goalie throw, (more spin) an another cheekie nanna goal. With there heads hanging the Nannas roared, the forwards pounced and Cockie SLAMMED home another goal within a minute of the last. BROWN pride!!!! We still had three minutes to play though. Before you could say “Jim, what is that on your pants” They got another goal, and again Chassssssssi could do nothing. Two minutes of them pushing harder than King Kong Bundy’s mum…Tension.

The final whistle – BROWN PRIDE. Then came the handshakes….a lot of grumbling and a few “fuck you very much’s”..

After the game Dan declared this month as COCKTOBER. I think he had a point, but he went a little too far by letting it poke out as he walked away from the coliseum!!

Knowing we had to drop off Andy Wong for his last dirty southside week, we went deep into the territory and had a drink at the ESPY!! As we were driving there the Captain was parking and as he turned his head to look out the window a loud CRACK was to be heard as he slammed his face into the window he thought had been wound down. Just as well we hadn’t smoked because we would probably still be laughing. So next time you see the Captain and you see the little cut on his nose…….(don’t tell him I told you)

vs Vagabundos 6-3

MS, CB 1, DC 2, JH 1, TH 1, RH 1, TW
MS MOM
Jim comes correct.

Dan tears the pectorial back from the heart.

Tom raises the roof.

Eel stomps greasy possum. Possum whines and is penalised. That was nice.

Dan with surgical nana deathstrike to their exposed corpuscles.

Chris peels cap back.

Hinkly sews it up.

Written by Marek the Eel.

Nannas vs Vagabundos Da Praia
6 : 3
RH(C), JH, CB, DC, TW, TH, Marek the Eel(GK)
Goals: DC(2), JH, TH, RH, CB
Mom: Marek the Eel

It was Thursday, (i think), a bunch of Nannas were sitting around a home made bbq in 1998, way before the Nannas were even invented, doing hot knives at Tennyson St when the Captain came back from a foraging expedition at the Botanical Gardens. Using Daytura the Captain had sourced, and the Tinman’s intimate knowledge of the Door of Jackson, the Nannas were able to brain their way into the future… everything was strange there. The high ball was allowed, and the surface was harder underfoot than they would be used to when they started their indoor soccer careers later on in their life. While it can be fun and rewarding to engage in sexual activities with your perfect double or doppleganger, you have to be careful, as I am sure most of you are aware, to kill said doppleganger at the end of the good times lest he/she try to kill you and take over your life. Lucky for the crazy high Nans from 1998 they inhabited the same bodies as their doubles so the need for murder was obivated, but a strange thing happened: Guy Fraser had been sent to Kaptain the Cobras and it was impossible for the brave, child free, good time loving, bbq eating, pre-nannas to get back to 1996 and the strange attraction of person’s pre-cocky and current Janet. But the Nannas were only concerned with keeping that winning feeling… and keep that winning feeling they did. Pre-cocky’s unwashed stench, from 1997 so inhabited his 2007 persona that we were able to summon BJ Honeycut from M*A*S*H bought corporeal as Big Jim Hannan (it’s the initials that make it possible), even though Jim didn’t even know any of us existed yet!, and he was just a punk skater with a hash dependency living on the streets of Sydney, and not the Upstanding former police officer wannabe and Army Surgeon that he had been/would become. Then Chazzy’s young actor implant was able to do this neat trick where NO ONE saw him effetely paddle the ball out of goal because he used his 1994 hand, they don’t teach you that at VCA. The captain started making a BBQ coz that’s what he used to do/does do on Thursdays, lucky it was a penalty shot BBQ, lovingly crafted out of metal plates that stop real Nannas from falling down holes on their way to Richmond Station: nothing is more powerful than a penalty bbq made from steel and angry Nannas with broken legs. Only Marek the Eel, who didn’t really come from the past was the only one who was like, “wtf, where’s my hip flask, jesus, Dalmatia was never like this” and the Nannas were like, “Oh, you are really from the Past. Dalmatia? What is that? Are you a knight? Do you have a war mallet?”. And Marek the Eel said, “Yes”. And malleted some wallabies who were running around wearing indoor soccer player suits. Of course the Nannas are big war mallet fans and bringing one to a Nannas game pretty much guarantees you the MOM so remember that Nannas. Don’t worry it all worked itself out in the end, the Nannas drank their way back to 1998 and separated the two of their selves through alcoholic ozmosis and the current day Nannas woke up in the morning with just a HeadAche, and a the taste of burnt stainless steel in their mouths.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a Nanna’s song or poem, so I wrote one in honour of myself. It’s called The Judge Coach Song.

The Judge Coach Song
(Sung to the tune of Rawhide)

He’s a Coach
He’s a Judge
He’s a Judge
He’s a Coach
He’s a Coach
He’s a Judge
Judge Coach!

He’s a Judge
He’s a Coach
He’s a Coach
He’s a Judge
He’s a Judge
He’s a Coach
Coach Judge!

Yes Brown Nannas the time has come for reflection, and what a murky pool we find ourselves staring into.

You can’t fight 10 losses and a draw out of all the games that we actually played as a successful season, or can you?

We fought back in the latter half of the season and roused ourselves to the best ever organised and coldest Nanna function, and they can’t take that away from us.

Enough, I’ll let the figures speak for themselves.
Full stats


mom

Most goals = D Crooks more
Most Games = R Hinkley more and more
MOM = R Hinkley more
APISC results = here
Captain out

loss to DEAD DEAD SKILLFULL 3-6

RH CG DC1 TW1 JH1 AW TK

I think Dead-dead lucky might be a better name for this lousy lump of no-hopers with shit for brains and personalities to match. Sure they beat us, some might say they beat us comprehensively, but there was at least six or seven minutes of the old Nannas, the Nannas we remember when we’re tucked up in bed and the wife is out of town.

We warmed our hands in the glow of the Angry Nanna heat and pushed forward with ease, not stopping to see the fallen opposition as they screamed “foul” and “you can’t do that” and “please”. We must take that six, maybe seven minutes and hold it dear, let it grow and build into a full 36 minutes of Nanna Glory.

vs HYDEROOS

2-4

RH, JH, AW, TK, CG, TW

MOM CG

There was an irishman and Australian, a Kiwi, a Japanese, a gayman, an angryman (subdued) and a drunk architect.

They all walked into a bar and decided to play a game of FOOTBALL. It was a messy affair with the sneaky irishman pulling the pants down of the gayman and exposing his defence. Not once but a few times!!! Oh how Benny Hill laughed…

 

Upper management has the honour of displaying results of a gallant season in Division one

The wrap

There was much talk of the triple crown last season and upper management was left with much egg on it’s hot and sweaty face. This time round there’s no confusion, The first ever Nanna triple crown.

Most Games played D Crooks

Most Goals D Crooks

Most Moms D Crooks

Bow your heads young Nannas and salute a true champion

Full Stats

Goals Here
Attendance here
Commitment here
Moms here
And for the sake of completeness APISC wrap here

Attendees: CB, TW, DC, CG, JH
Goals: CB 4, DC 2, JH 2
MOM: CG, JH
Opposition: Allens FC (Faeces Chompers)

 

Being a part two I’ll keep it that way…..brief and succinct.

We played a meaningless game – for the fun of it……..but no one told the TIME LORD!!!!!! With a shoulder cocked he looked mean but thankfully missed!! The day Dan’s brown went a shade of red. I think it is out of his system….

Jim’s size twelve were the real reason why we kept them out in the second half….The mental hold that CHAS’s buttocks have over the mind of Jim is frightening – we all feel for you Justine….

There was no one in the queue out the front of workshop, and yet they made me wait, by myself, for about ten minutes….Five people came out and still they would not let me in. Maybe the nannas need to pack a little Rexona post match….

Go forth with Browness tonight men….

 

United have shown the kind of attributes that are essential for a team with realistic aspirations of finishing as champions: defensive resilience, in Saturday’s case inspired by Rio Ferdinand with a thou-shall-not-pass mentality epitomised by the largely unsung Edwin van der Sar and the ability to conjure up late and decisive moments.

Image links to full stats
For the first time in Nanna history the triple crown has been taken, Most Games, Most Goals, Most Mom. Nanna upper management salutes the worthy winner, and takes time to reflect on a season that took the Nannas to Glory. Onward proud men, to “A” division and beyond, somewhere in the greek alphabet possibly, or even Roman numerals.

Whack’em, don’t spatter’em. You hit somebody with your fist and not with your fingers spread.

Forfeit

Playing: RH, DC, AW, TW, TK
MOM TK

This is the controversial. Even the Harcourt does not turn up for a game against us now. What does this mean?? As the legendary striker says that you must not despise opponent’s ability and be confident in your own superiority, this word appears as winning without fighting?? Hope for the best and prepare for the worst?? Next game will tell me the answer.

I do not think that even sharpest Nannas noticed what I was thinking the night. Open up a beer and look back on the night. Explaining the feeling is most difficult thing for me but I will try it to find where I am.

It was like having nice meal at a pub and reasonably getting satisfied – a little bit – (never be satisfied too much) as your appetite have become normal. There is a happy lady group drinking behind you. They must be having good time as the most beautiful summer evening which does not seem ending long long time.

There was a dog between the 2 groups and the dog tried to tell me something. All of a sudden, the small dog silently pissed on my uniform bag and made the night almost unforgivable. But look! The owner, she was actually more than cute and sexy + my type, apologized three times and touch my shoulder few times. Mmm.. What does this meeeeeeean!!!

Let’s go to the pub after the next game to find out more.

Personally and for my money I think our team photos in the past have focussed too much on focussing on the players. Look at the grain on that nice old bench. There is action there too you know. Not just in the faces of men!

Here are some pics from the final at the end of 2006. Sorry but don’t know how to put in right order and sorry I haven’t got to them until now.

Peace and Fucking,
Tao

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.
For he today who sheds his blood with little Danny shall be his brother.
Be he ne’er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition, and gentlemen now abed shall think themselves acursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks, that fought with us upon APISC’s courts.

NANNAS VERUS harcourt

 nannas 4 harcourt 0

Playing: RH(c), DC, CB, CG, TK, AW, JH

Goals: CB 2, TK 1, CG 1

MOM: CG

The first game of a new year Nanna’s, and what a game it was!!! Extreme brown pride should be felt, like you were dancing with GG Allen!!

We faced up to Harcourt with captain muttering watch out for number 6 – “he’s the man, he’s the man!!” So we were ready, on our game – focused. It was TIGHT the whole time.

Chris Brown scored twice with Kondo and ME dobbing one each. They tried to score but forgot what hardess was andsoftly peppered away.

The real controversy occured after the game with two UNNAMMED nannas stepping outside from the pub for a cigarrette!!! WHAT WAS THIS!!! Putting our whole smoke free sponsor ship at risk.

Luckily Jim offered to buy a vapouriser for the next card frenzy, however, Chris Brown is yet to attone.

 

It would be remiss of me not to mention Tao’s bux night. There were plenty of Bruises on show, and I presume that is why Tao could not make it – because of a whopper!

 

HOLD YOUR HEADS HIGH NANNAS, A GREAT START TO THE YEAR!!!!!!!!

What the world would have been like had he never have been born is unimaginable. It would be hard to argue that any other individual has had as much influence on music as this man. I won’t name his innovations here as they are so ever-present and deeply engrained in all of us that to describe them would be as pointless as notating the rhythms of our hearts and lungs.

I don’t feel it is appropriate to speak of loss in this situation. When a man dies who has contributed so much to music, more notably Soul Music, and more personally has inspired and architected my own very livelihood, I think speaking of loss would be ungrateful. Let us rather give thanks for what he gave us; for every every drop of his sweat that, along with his moans and grunts, bathed the stages and phonographs of our world in sweet raw Soul. Let us get up and celebrate his life with our music, and ours with his, just like he showed us.

May his soul rest in peace, but let his spirit keep working tirelessly among us.”

following the 3rd forfiet in a row the nannas were reduced to playing a mixed team (and hinkley).  kudos to hugh for supporting and photography….

ok fools, after toms yelling i have put up the 4 most recent team phots that i have (have a look in the team photo category) i also did some cleaning up after you bums who can’t use computers… who has the finals shot ? chip ?

He paid the ultimate sacrifice, he gave all that he had to give, he laid down that he may walk so his brother nannas could continue the fight. Sometimes a man has to give up everything, to gain nothing at all.

This is my leg in the slightly shabby plaster cast that the kojaks in emergency put on.

Now check out this sonbitch, it’s your hybrid plaster/fibreglass puppy installed by the trueschool plaster techs at the St Vincents fracture clinic. Yes sir it is lighter, stronger, better fitting and tougher looking… hell even the photo composed itself better in the presence of this beauty. Note the distinct lack of plaster skank on the toes and upper shin when the job is done right. Note also the ‘closer to right angle’ relationship between the foot and the leg in the second cast.

Alright, enough poorly interpreted medical knowledge. Tonight seek not revenge for your smoten coach, seek victory in the pureness of the belief that only the nannas will prevail.