It’s been a while since we’ve had a Nanna’s song or poem, so I wrote one in honour of myself. It’s called The Judge Coach Song.
The Judge Coach Song
(Sung to the tune of Rawhide)
He’s a Coach
He’s a Judge
He’s a Judge
He’s a Coach
He’s a Coach
He’s a Judge
Judge Coach!
He’s a Judge
He’s a Coach
He’s a Coach
He’s a Judge
He’s a Judge
He’s a Coach
Coach Judge!
Nannas versus LOS PITUFOS
1 : 6
RH (c), CB, AW, TW, JH, Marek the EEL
Goals RH 1
MOM: RH
The game started with a flurry and a rush of excitement, Marek the eel in goal, slippery, elusive with sharp teeth, lungs of pure nicotine and liver stained black with short black madness.
We were excited and hot, damn hot. The flurry of opening passes was bedazzling chazzy to Weis to Wong to Hinkley, back to Chazzy to Hannan, Hannan pushes forward, to Weis to Wong, accross the face to Hinkley on the burst, he winds up from 400metres out, somewhere in the car park, his mighty legs of steel create a wind that screams through the court, followed by the remnants of a soccer ball, shredded upon impact, that ends, deflated in the back of the net.
The game went downhill from there and we played like a pack of moist towelletes, dirty ones.
The EEL held his own and earned his Nanna badge with distinction.
vs ASIAN SENSATION 6-5
RH, CB, DC, TW, TH, CG, JH
MOM CB
Look this game happened a while ago now and since then the writer has been violated by one James Hannan. This violation had the unfortunate result of the erasing of my carefully inscribed details of a momentous Nannas match of football. The details of the game had been lovingly etched on some garden variety paper product and then stored carefully in the rear pocket of the writer’s pants. After the ensuing metaphorical reacharound bestowed on the writer by the aforementioned Hannan; the writer withdrew the garden like sheaf only to discover it to be damp and rubbed raw and lifeless of any intelligible etchings.
From memory then; we won. Ending an unprecedented losing streak. Dan got a goal. There was a crowd of 70,000 (whoops that was the Argentina match at the G), umm we went to the Windsor afterwards. The writer got the MOM without scoring a goal (some put that down to x factor). The writer felt no great pride in his performance but is honoured by the honour bestowed on him.
May this beacon of victory shine forth and illuminate other victorious beacons and also beakers full to the brim of lightly carbonated amber truth fluid.
Go Nannas!
Yes Brown Nannas the time has come for reflection, and what a murky pool we find ourselves staring into.
You can’t fight 10 losses and a draw out of all the games that we actually played as a successful season, or can you?
We fought back in the latter half of the season and roused ourselves to the best ever organised and coldest Nanna function, and they can’t take that away from us.
Enough, I’ll let the figures speak for themselves.
Full stats
mom
Most goals = D Crooks more
Most Games = R Hinkley more and more
MOM = R Hinkley more
APISC results = here
Captain out
loss to DEAD DEAD SKILLFULL 3-6
RH CG DC1 TW1 JH1 AW TK
I think Dead-dead lucky might be a better name for this lousy lump of no-hopers with shit for brains and personalities to match. Sure they beat us, some might say they beat us comprehensively, but there was at least six or seven minutes of the old Nannas, the Nannas we remember when we’re tucked up in bed and the wife is out of town.
We warmed our hands in the glow of the Angry Nanna heat and pushed forward with ease, not stopping to see the fallen opposition as they screamed “foul” and “you can’t do that” and “please”. We must take that six, maybe seven minutes and hold it dear, let it grow and build into a full 36 minutes of Nanna Glory.
vs HYDEROOS
2-4
RH, JH, AW, TK, CG, TW
MOM CG
There was an irishman and Australian, a Kiwi, a Japanese, a gayman, an angryman (subdued) and a drunk architect.
They all walked into a bar and decided to play a game of FOOTBALL. It was a messy affair with the sneaky irishman pulling the pants down of the gayman and exposing his defence. Not once but a few times!!! Oh how Benny Hill laughed…
Upper management has the honour of displaying results of a gallant season in Division one
The wrap
There was much talk of the triple crown last season and upper management was left with much egg on it’s hot and sweaty face. This time round there’s no confusion, The first ever Nanna triple crown.
Most Games played D Crooks
Most Goals D Crooks
Most Moms D Crooks
Bow your heads young Nannas and salute a true champion
Full Stats
Goals Here
Attendance here
Commitment here
Moms here
And for the sake of completeness APISC wrap here
Attendees: CB, TW, DC, CG, JH
Goals: CB 4, DC 2, JH 2
MOM: CG, JH
Opposition: Allens FC (Faeces Chompers)
Being a part two I’ll keep it that way…..brief and succinct.
We played a meaningless game – for the fun of it……..but no one told the TIME LORD!!!!!! With a shoulder cocked he looked mean but thankfully missed!! The day Dan’s brown went a shade of red. I think it is out of his system….
Jim’s size twelve were the real reason why we kept them out in the second half….The mental hold that CHAS’s buttocks have over the mind of Jim is frightening – we all feel for you Justine….
There was no one in the queue out the front of workshop, and yet they made me wait, by myself, for about ten minutes….Five people came out and still they would not let me in. Maybe the nannas need to pack a little Rexona post match….
Go forth with Browness tonight men….
United have shown the kind of attributes that are essential for a team with realistic aspirations of finishing as champions: defensive resilience, in Saturday’s case inspired by Rio Ferdinand with a thou-shall-not-pass mentality epitomised by the largely unsung Edwin van der Sar and the ability to conjure up late and decisive moments.
Holy shit! We look like we are about to take up axe handles, pitchforks and gasoline torches, and head on into a convent to do Satan’s work. Look at Wal and Chas for Christ’s sake, are they not eyeball eating twins from some Stephen King novel. Gill is like, ‘sure I’ve killed a hundred children, and i will kill a hundred more whatever’. Even Nice Guy Hannan looks like he is only smiling because he is having a footbath in babies blood or something. Cocky and Tao look like they want to hurt someone real bad. Kondo is a dimension of pure evil hidden in the darkness, and Rhian looks an angry extra from Watership Down.
Image links to full stats
For the first time in Nanna history the triple crown has been taken, Most Games, Most Goals, Most Mom. Nanna upper management salutes the worthy winner, and takes time to reflect on a season that took the Nannas to Glory. Onward proud men, to “A” division and beyond, somewhere in the greek alphabet possibly, or even Roman numerals.
Whack’em, don’t spatter’em. You hit somebody with your fist and not with your fingers spread.
Forfeit
Playing: RH, DC, AW, TW, TK
MOM TK
This is the controversial. Even the Harcourt does not turn up for a game against us now. What does this mean?? As the legendary striker says that you must not despise opponent’s ability and be confident in your own superiority, this word appears as winning without fighting?? Hope for the best and prepare for the worst?? Next game will tell me the answer.
I do not think that even sharpest Nannas noticed what I was thinking the night. Open up a beer and look back on the night. Explaining the feeling is most difficult thing for me but I will try it to find where I am.
It was like having nice meal at a pub and reasonably getting satisfied – a little bit – (never be satisfied too much) as your appetite have become normal. There is a happy lady group drinking behind you. They must be having good time as the most beautiful summer evening which does not seem ending long long time.
There was a dog between the 2 groups and the dog tried to tell me something. All of a sudden, the small dog silently pissed on my uniform bag and made the night almost unforgivable. But look! The owner, she was actually more than cute and sexy + my type, apologized three times and touch my shoulder few times. Mmm.. What does this meeeeeeean!!!
Let’s go to the pub after the next game to find out more.
Personally and for my money I think our team photos in the past have focussed too much on focussing on the players. Look at the grain on that nice old bench. There is action there too you know. Not just in the faces of men!
Sometimes schoolchildren write to me and they say: ‘The nannas are obviously a bunch of superfit guys who can play soccer really well, but what do they get up to when they aren’t carving shit up on the soccer field?”
I will tell you what we do. We dance. See:
But sometimes just dancing isn’t enough. You have to take your pants off and dance. Like this:
I hope this answers the questions of the little children.
Here are some pics from the final at the end of 2006. Sorry but don’t know how to put in right order and sorry I haven’t got to them until now.
Peace and Fucking,
Tao
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.
For he today who sheds his blood with little Danny shall be his brother.
Be he ne’er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition, and gentlemen now abed shall think themselves acursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks, that fought with us upon APISC’s courts.
NANNAS VERUS harcourt
nannas 4 harcourt 0
Playing: RH(c), DC, CB, CG, TK, AW, JH
Goals: CB 2, TK 1, CG 1
MOM: CG
The first game of a new year Nanna’s, and what a game it was!!! Extreme brown pride should be felt, like you were dancing with GG Allen!!
We faced up to Harcourt with captain muttering watch out for number 6 – “he’s the man, he’s the man!!” So we were ready, on our game – focused. It was TIGHT the whole time.
Chris Brown scored twice with Kondo and ME dobbing one each. They tried to score but forgot what hardess was andsoftly peppered away.
The real controversy occured after the game with two UNNAMMED nannas stepping outside from the pub for a cigarrette!!! WHAT WAS THIS!!! Putting our whole smoke free sponsor ship at risk.
Luckily Jim offered to buy a vapouriser for the next card frenzy, however, Chris Brown is yet to attone.
It would be remiss of me not to mention Tao’s bux night. There were plenty of Bruises on show, and I presume that is why Tao could not make it – because of a whopper!
HOLD YOUR HEADS HIGH NANNAS, A GREAT START TO THE YEAR!!!!!!!!
What the world would have been like had he never have been born is unimaginable. It would be hard to argue that any other individual has had as much influence on music as this man. I won’t name his innovations here as they are so ever-present and deeply engrained in all of us that to describe them would be as pointless as notating the rhythms of our hearts and lungs.
I don’t feel it is appropriate to speak of loss in this situation. When a man dies who has contributed so much to music, more notably Soul Music, and more personally has inspired and architected my own very livelihood, I think speaking of loss would be ungrateful. Let us rather give thanks for what he gave us; for every every drop of his sweat that, along with his moans and grunts, bathed the stages and phonographs of our world in sweet raw Soul. Let us get up and celebrate his life with our music, and ours with his, just like he showed us.
May his soul rest in peace, but let his spirit keep working tirelessly among us.”
following the 3rd forfiet in a row the nannas were reduced to playing a mixed team (and hinkley). kudos to hugh for supporting and photography….
ok fools, after toms yelling i have put up the 4 most recent team phots that i have (have a look in the team photo category) i also did some cleaning up after you bums who can’t use computers… who has the finals shot ? chip ?
He paid the ultimate sacrifice, he gave all that he had to give, he laid down that he may walk so his brother nannas could continue the fight. Sometimes a man has to give up everything, to gain nothing at all.
This is my leg in the slightly shabby plaster cast that the kojaks in emergency put on.
Now check out this sonbitch, it’s your hybrid plaster/fibreglass puppy installed by the trueschool plaster techs at the St Vincents fracture clinic. Yes sir it is lighter, stronger, better fitting and tougher looking… hell even the photo composed itself better in the presence of this beauty. Note the distinct lack of plaster skank on the toes and upper shin when the job is done right. Note also the ‘closer to right angle’ relationship between the foot and the leg in the second cast.
Alright, enough poorly interpreted medical knowledge. Tonight seek not revenge for your smoten coach, seek victory in the pureness of the belief that only the nannas will prevail.
and that is some foreign language meaning handsome bastards !
( i am testing how this works feel free to delete this )
The Nannas Logo sees it’s first coverage in the Chinese press, featuring prominently in a recent edition of the Shanghai Daily. Unfortunately the image was reproduced in B&W diminishing much of the impact of the poos and wees colour scheme proudly sported by themightyfightingnannas. Merchandising distributors on the mainland are rumored to be clamoring for a piece of the action after Nannas management turned down an offer from Taiwanese interests which they said ‘drastically undervalued the worth of the Nanna brand’.
Thanks to our man on the Bund, Jeremy Stewart for the documentation.
And you, good nannas, whose limbs were made in Brown, show us here the mettle of your pasture; let us swear that you are worth your breeding, which I doubt not, for there is none of you so mean and base, that hath not noble lustre in your eyes. I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, straining upon the start. The game’s afoot!
Tight is write.
can posts be backdated ?
well blow me down, they can.
do we put all the old team phots up and backdate thier entries to the day of the game ???
or simply put a link to the old site…?
