Sport. A cruel, cruel mistress.
Just ask captain. Inquire what it was like to bust ankle. Then say, how did it feel to sprint on ankle for half hour?

Sport. A real bitch.
Just ask coach. Raise how hurling soccer ball must have been exceptional c*&^ after receiving range of crippling blows to arm thirty minutes prior kick-off.

Sport. A total waste of time.
Just ask Tao. Put, if you dare, how with only five minutes left on clock he found Nannas nine gaols down.

Sport. No point trying.
Just ask me. Exclaim, busting gut back in d only got ball on ball on ball on ball on ball ricocheting off foot, leg, appendage into own goal. Own goal. Own gaol.

Sport. A real tragedy.
Just ask Andy, who, despite best efforts, could not prevent competitive game in first half turning rout in second.

Present: DC, CB, RH, TK, TW, AW, JH

Goals: DC 2, JH 1

Opposition: DDS

Final score: DDS 5- Nannas 3

While this game ended in defeat, the Nannas will be sure to take something out of it. It showed that team brown can play a game to beat any opponent no matter how skillful.

Most times the Nannas beat opponents like DDS in the later stages of a season when we are all hyped up and our brownly manhood is on the line. We mark up, impose our immense physicality on our opposite numbers and generally worry them out of the contest.

Last Thursday’s game was an example where we used two distinct styles of play, none of which reflected the method we employ come finals time.

After a very slow start where the opposition put two goals past us that could best be described as hopeful long-range efforts, the Nannas suddenly heard the absent coach’s call to play with our heads and not our arses. We started running, defending and most important of all passing.

Yes the Nannas started to control the game, employing the adage that the ball kicked moves faster than the man running. Strangely, in our possession the ball went backward just as much as it went forward. We also demarcated a ten-metre semi-circle around Kondo’s goal that became an opposition no-go zone.

Funnily enough it worked. Cocky bagged two, yours truly curled one in from range, and the opposition could not find their rhythm, taking sporadic and ill-directed shots on goal. The browns went to half time with a one goal lead and their tails up.

It wasn’t to last long. From the whistle for play to get under way in the second half, the Nannas were caught on their heals and promptly punished. 3-3.

Then trying to regain the initiative the Nannas pushed too many forward, and our d was caught at sixes and sevens on the break. 4-3.

From there the Nannas reverted to the aforesaid second style of play. This is the game plan usually engaged when the Nannas are up against it. It is a game of long passes, misdirected one-touches, and no patience or panache whatsoever. The Nannas used the old no-nonsense straight up the guts at all times approach, thinking it must reap rewards.

The rewards did not come. The Nannas were brave, but the Nannas were also out of puff. A late goal by the opposition sealed it. Final score 5-3.

Special mention goes to Tao for trying to tell the ref that he was in a better position to adjudicate on the game, after a call when against him.

Special mention also goes to the Captain for his self-nomination as the worst player on the pitch, which seemed somewhat harsh. Such self recriminations are always to be commended, especially when they come from our fearless leader.

Attendees: CB, CG, TW, DC, JH, TH (coach), AW, RH
Goals: JH, CB
MOM: JH

Tommy thought long and hard about what to wear for the evening.
Tao needed a nostril reconstruction.
Chas was convinced that people were talking about his bum.
Andy was on time and duly mocked for his commitment.
Hinkley and Dan sported respect but the latter seemed to having some anger management issues.
Gill was all brown in a very becoming tracksuit.

I started on the bench, which was good. Being unsteady on my feet, I wanted to see how the game progressed before entering the fray. In the coach’s room long before the contest, there was instruction on the art of mind-fuzzying. Our manager insists that I think too much and play much better on instinct. I think he could be right.

The Nannas put two goals away in the first half. I remember the first one inasmuch as I can still feel my foot making contact with the ball.

I do know that Chasm scored the second but the details are hazy. His arse might have had something to do with it.

The second half for the spectators was disappointing but only because they could not join in the adrenalin frenzy that the Nannas had whipped up on court. The Browns were unlucky on several occasions not to go further in front. And they never looked threatened at the back.

Afterwards the pub played host to the coach getting yelling out of his system.
Cocky tried to re-ignite his anger over a controversial MOM vote but even he was spent.
Good sleeps were had by all.

Attendees: CB, TW, DC, CG, JH
Goals: CB 4, DC 2, JH 2
MOM: CG, JH
Opposition: Allens FC (second division, and rightly so)

One notorious premiership manager calls April, May squeaky-bum time. Well I reckon Sir Alex would get a lot out of the footage from the Nanna’s Thursday game because on display were very brown, super-clean bottoms.
For the Nannas it was a tight-five set-up. And tight we were. So tight in fact that the opposition soon found all their hopes and dreams for a competitive match dashed and they quickly resorted to tactics that are best described as wanker-ish.
Tao pointed this out to the referee but was rebuked, shown yellow. Dan took matters into his own hands and was shown red.
While Cocky was off court the opposition wanted to relive their hopes and dreams of rippled nets, filled with pounded balls. But fantasies are quickly snuffed out when reality is nearby, which took the form of Chasm parading his ample chest and super-squeaky buttock. Displays like this are hard to ignore and the Allens were held firmly in check by an aroused Nanna quartet.
In the spirit of Easter (whatever that means) Cocky was allowed to re-enter the fray and the Nannas went from defence to offence quicker than Gilla could say “this team are a bunch of fools”.
Highlights:
Dan’s wide grin as he led with his head toward his opposite number.
Chasm’s ample chest and squeaky-clean buttock.
Tao’s dissing of the referee walking down the stairs out of the stadium post-game.
Gilla re-telling how he was a sole queue person outside Workshop.