19 March 2009
5-4 Nanna loss to The Hyderoos.
CB(1), DC(2), CG, JH, RH(1), TH, AW(m)
Despite the loss, the game was a great game. A very balanced and equal game, with goal for goal rhythm. In the end we lost by a goal. And sure it was an own goal, but all appreciated that it could have been any of us. It just wasn’t.
Noticeably absent was any westside presence. There was talk of heavy thumbs. There was talk of dark clouds. There was talk of dark and heavy thumb clouds, and inevitable and impending cool change coming in from the west, and we had all better laugh and snigger whilst The Great Dark Thumb had not (yet) unleashed it’s true power.
Fortunately I took notes after the game to remember all the little details of the game, the goals, the passes, the saves. All that sweet nanna poetry.
Unfortunately I totally lost my notes. And having so heavily relied upon them I remember nothing. Apologies.
The only single moment I recall was my own cross-court fast pass which snaked through 4 pairs of legs, across to an anticipating Cocky, who banged it home for a perfect finish. Gold. And boy have I been reliving that one all week.
Ahhh. The nannas. More than a team. It’s a lifestyle.
And after 9 years of eating post-game chips at pubs the nannas have again stepped it up a notch. The expansion of our post-game repertoire. We move from the Maori clubhouse, to The Windsor, into unchartered waters.
Gilla had booked us into The Horn in Collingwood.
It looked like it was not only going to be entertaining but also educational. Being a whitey I had always imagined that the ‘horn’ was the bottom tip of Africa. Stupid. Ignorant. white boy. The map on the wall informed me otherwise. The Horn I realised was the most eastern tip which resembles a rhino horn.
The Horn comprises Ethiopia, Yemen and Somalia. Ethiopia’s population is 85 million. This could be contributed to the average fertility rate of 6.12 kids per every female. Average.
The Harar beer was I have to say a beer which was really agreeable with me. Crisp and clear. Just the way I like it. And the label was a beautiful picture of a fort building in a sandy desert, all orange. The barman talked them up as “organic” beers, although the labels did not appear to confirm this. The other beer was the Dashen, with an equally tantilising label with beautiful red script font.
I returned to the bar for another Harer. Took a sip, and thought this really doesn’t taste like beer. It tastes like water. Drank half the bottle. Yep. That’s water. Back to the bar. They gave me another. Cheers. Although that too tasted like water. Umm, this beer tastes like water. Gives me another. By now I was just too embarrassed to not to just accept as beer.
I did feel like a real hard man saying hey this beer tastes like water.
Those Horn heads. They’re not focussed on the beer. Their biggest trade export is coffee, accounting for 80% of all exports.
Their second biggest export item is Qat, accounting for 10% of all exports. Qat is a controlled/illegal plant. It is chewed, and contains an amphetamine-like stimulant which causes “excitement, loss of appetite and euphoria”. Within the Kenyan elite, it is also used to cure hangovers. 40% of Yemen’s precious water supply is used to irrigate the Qat plantations. 40%.
When they’re not making coffee, they seem to be chewing. And when they’re not chewing, they’re procreating.
Australia controls the importation of Qat, but with a permit one can import up to 5 kilos per month. That seems like a lot of chewing. The number of Qat permits issued in Australia is 294. (It is illegal in New Zealand).
But I digress.
The food was amazing. So flavoursome. It was tricky trying to eat sans cutlery, with only the right hand. Gilla had arranged us a table right in front of the band, The Blow. Much of the fanbase were bald men with ponytails. The nannas felt young again. And much like the Thumb Cloud, the nannas giggled initially, then understood that it’s approach was also inevitable. That will be my look for the Finals.
I had imagined that the dining line-up would crescendo gradually throughout the season, the alphabet peaking out with the W’s at the Flower Drum. But the Gill really stepped it up to such a new height, that really we almost have to bring it back down to just chips to level it back to reality.
Parts of the Horn are scary. Apart from the pirates, there are 84 airports in Ethiopia, and only 15 have paved runways.
Gill and Chas continued onto into the night. The other soft-cocks went home. Wal hit Alia for dyke night to touch the “the ratio” treats. I road-tested my new line: hey ladies, how bout we “make like the Horn” and up the fertility rate. Seemed to bamboozeel them sufficiently to get some walmartin signature.
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