7-2 Victory over Hampton FC
DC 1, CG 1(GK), RH 1, TH 2, TK 1, TW 1, AW
When you have shot a hyena jackle wearing a lion skin in it’s head. When you have bent over a Gryphon and showed that Gryphon what for. When you stand on top of mountain and that mountain is the Mountain of the Indoor Football Grandfinal. You fear no evil – for you are the meanest motherfucker in the valley. Basically you become what that dude became at the end of Kung Fu Hustle – a super awesome machine that cannot be stopped, you get that Buddha’s hand manoeuvre where you just fly in from the sky and smack any bitch down that tries to mess with you and there ain’t a damn thing anyone can do about it because you have achieved oneness with all that is and was and will be. Come to think of it, it was a lot like a kung-fu movie fight: we danced with them early for a while, trading blows, level pegging, going toe to toe. We got one – they got one back, maybe they were even ahead there at one stage, Giller was doing some fine saves, Cocky was monstering the goal without much luck, it was a bit of an arm wrestle. Then came DEATH BLOW. Not really wanting to blow my own trumpet here, but it was probably the reason I won MOM, plus Cocky did describe it as ‘an early contender for goal of the season’, so I’ll give you a brief run down. Basically it was the run in from defense, Tao laid it off to me and I struck it pretty sweetly from a few metres over the halfway line. It wasn’t a true toe poke, more of a hybrid half toe poke half ‘proper kick’, at any rate I got sweet hold of it. It seems to me that once you hit a ball sweet enough and it’s travelling at sufficient velocity it has no choice but to bend, and bend this one did, across goal away from the goalie, going into the net low and hard, the goalie left standing, the smack of the ball hitting the bricks leaving a resounding ringing through venue. Perhaps better goals will be scored, but this one also came at a decisive moment, the arm wrestle that had been being fought out by the whole team, was brought to swift conclusion by this one kick. From there we essentially were that giant Buddha’s hand that comes in from the sky and with impunity smites all those before it – the flood gates opened and we left laughing and smiling into the night, a night that featured delicious Huxtaburgers, drinks in a bar that you couldn’t get into to buy beers because of the private party – but you could sit on the street?, awesome car ballet behind Trippy Taco and a massive spray paint impromptu at Northside. We were happy and laughing but deep down we were sad, very very sad, because of the disrespect.